J O T D

[jetmechmarty]

[Erik the Red]

off of a t-shirt a buddy has...

Haikus are easy.
But sometimes they don't make sense.
Refrigerator.

[Schming]

Haiku

God Bless You, Fred

[fredintoon]

OH NO! Not another limeric thread.

Zap, it could get worse.
Limerick is not too bad.
It could be Haiku.

[CaptonZap]

OH NO! Not another limeric thread.

[fredintoon]

A few Limericks from my mis-spent youth.

A lesbian whore from Khartoum
Took a transvestite up to her room
As she put out the light
She said "Let's get this right,
Who does what and with which and to whom?"
>
There was a young girl from Devizes
Who's breasts were of two different sizes
One was so small
it was nothing at all
The other was huge and won prizes.
>
There once was a Bishop from Birmingham
who seduced little girls while confirming them
As he knelt down to bless them
He'd slyly undress them
And slip his episcopal worm in them.
>
There was a young lady from Chichester
Who's legs made the Saints in their niches stir
And who's breasts, so they say
As she knelt down to pray
Made the Bishop of Chichester's britches stir.
>
There was a young fellow called Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
He said "I'll admit
I'm a bit of a ****,
But look at the money I save."

[jetmechmarty]

[fredintoon]

When I was younger and had a hard on I could hang a 20 pound weight off of it, but now, when I do that my knees buckle!

Elderly man in a bar warning off a young buck trying to start a fight.
"watch it sonny, us old folks get a lot stronger as we age. For instance, when a young fellow gets an erection he simply can't bend it but at my age I've gotten so strong I can bend it in half!"

[Rasputin]

When I was younger and had a hard on I could hang a 20 pound weight off of it, but now, when I do that my knees buckle!

[jetmechmarty]

Marriage proposal

https://www.youtube.com/embed/dYslhL71k1M?rel=0

[je2wheeler]

Truck driv'n mother

I heard this in a truckstop at Bucksnort, (real place) Tennessee more than 40 years ago.

A truck rolls into a fuel plaza and stops at the pumps.
The attendant walks up to the truck as the driver climbs down from the tractor. The attendant sees that the truck’s radiator is percolating like a thousand cup coffee urn, there are tree limbs, bushes, mud curving the bottom half of the whole rig and the brakes are glowing red hot.
The attendant asks, “Top it off?”
The driver just bends over, feet apart and goes (spit)”TRUCK DRIV'N MOTHER TRUCKER!!!”
As the attendant looks on in shock, the driver walks over to the restaurant door, stops bends over with his feet apart and goes (spit)”TRUCK DRIV'N MOTHER TRUCKER!!!” then walks into the restaurant.
Just inside, the hostess asks the driver if he needs a table for one. The driver just bends over, feet apart and goes (spit)”TRUCK DRIV'N MOTHER TRUCKER!!!”
The hostess stomps her foot and screams, “I don’t have to take this kind of abuse from you drivers!”
The driver just bends over, feet apart and goes (spit)”TRUCK DRIV'N MOTHER TRUCKER!!!”
The county Sheriff gets up from the counter and says, “Son, if you all don’t stop your cussing, I gon'a have to run you all in.”
The driver says, “Sorry, but I just come from a life altering experience. Me and my co-driver Luther were coming down the long downhill grade full of switchbacks with nothing but a cliff on one side of that skinny road and a shear drop off on the other.”
“Yes, I know that place.” Says the Sheriff.
“Well I was driving and Luther was asleep back in the sleeper when I started down the grade. I went for a lower gear but I missed that shift and that 90 thousand pound gross bugger just took off like a shot. Down we went real fast like with the curves coming and there was another rig in front of us going real slow and a school bus full of kids laboring up the grade. We was all going to meet at the same spot and us just topping a houndered miles an hour when I reached back in the sleeper, shock Luther and said, ‘Luther, you get all of us out of this alive, I’ll suck your ****!’ The driver just bends over, feet apart and goes (spit)”TRUCK DRIV'N MOTHER TRUCKER!!!”

[Schming]

Expecting ?

Best think it over

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Phil-and-teds-green-explorer-double-/131406614416?pt=UK_Baby_BabyTravel_Pushchairs_GL&hash=item1e9871cf90

[Prisoner6]

I laughed and laughed watching this. It looks like great fun. I particularly like the helmets.

Randy Grubb's Decopods

I love it! Funny he mentions Flash Gordon ...

Watching the first few seconds of the video, my thoughts immediately ran to the old Saturday afternoon Flash Gordon serials I watched as a child.

Looks like something Flash would have ridden ...



Hmmm ... Kill Gordon, NOW!

[jwhughes3]

I love those!

Sign me up.

John

[jetmechmarty]

I laughed and laughed watching this. It looks like great fun. I particularly like the helmets.

Randy Grubb's Decopods