J O T D

[donebysunday]

If I were you I'd stick around and see what happens next ! ?????

The wife's back on the warpath again.
Last night she said she wanted to make a sex movie, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.
My next bowel movement could spell disaster.

My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off.

I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.

After both suffering from depression for a while,
the wife and I were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, ´Screw it, I'll soldier on!

I woke up this morning at 8, and could smell something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered McDonald’s serves breakfast until 11:30.

Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. Took her to the fair last night, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.

The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"

My wife packed my bags and said "GET OUT!!!".
As I walked out the front door, she screamed,
"I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!" "Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"

I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom.
It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.

[Schming]

Men's Jokes

The wife's back on the warpath again.
Last night she said she wanted to make a sex movie, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.
My next bowel movement could spell disaster.

My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off.

I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.

After both suffering from depression for a while,
the wife and I were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, ´Screw it, I'll soldier on!

I woke up this morning at 8, and could smell something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered McDonald’s serves breakfast until 11:30.

Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. Took her to the fair last night, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.

The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"

My wife packed my bags and said "GET OUT!!!".
As I walked out the front door, she screamed,
"I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!" "Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"

I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom.
It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.

[jetmechmarty]

If you watch any of the Ichiban Moto videos, it's called assembly tape.

[DiverRay]

No, Gorilla Tape, it's black........

[Radioguylogs]

ebay Entertainment

ebay listings can be so entertaining:

http://www.ebay.com/itm/1980-Yamaha-XS1100-XS-1100-Tank-Collar-/360787077557?pt=Motorcycles_Parts_Accessories&hash=item540095e9b5&vxp=mtr

"It is in good used condition and ready to install"

With duct tape?

[Rasputin]

It sure is funny that in every shot except the very last one, there is no camera mounted to the handlebars! The suddenly when landing it sprouts this Go pro like weed. I am thinking there is some creative editing going on in this vid.

[tcoop]

Flying motorcycle

This was not what I did but someone in Utah was crazy enough to do it. Not so much as funny more like ridiculous.

http://a.msn.com/09/en-us/BBgD4RO

[trbig]

Yeah, having a brake lever on the right side just... doesn't make any sense. Just make sure you use double green zip-ties if you convert it though. Oh.. and a return spring on a gas pedal is just for sissies.

[jetmechmarty]

He didn't even do the gas pedal mod.

[Radioguylogs]

... but it comes with a red mallet to adjust the carburetors.

[BA80]

I would like to post something funny here but I can't even come close to that craigslist ad.

[Schming]

What's scary, is at some point, you'll see a Yamaha on Craigslist that is a "Bada$$ café racer project, not enough time to finish.."

Yep yep, feast yer eyes on this:

http://pittsburgh.craigslist.org/mcy/4781589946.html

[trbig]

What's scary, is at some point, you'll see a Yamaha on Craigslist that is a "Bada$$ café racer project, not enough time to finish.."

[jetmechmarty]

Bad A$$ Rearsets

OK, one more.

Ichiban Cafe Racer Part 20: How to install Sport Bike Rear Sets On a Vintage Motorcycle

[jetmechmarty]

Where can I get this stuff?

How to restore motorcycle seat foam - rejuvenator for vintage bikes and cafe racers