J O T D

[BrianB]

Are you a Grinch?

If so check out the link to find your Grinch name.

http://www.yourgeekfriend.com/GrinchName/GrinchName.php?FirstName=tom&LastName=roberts&submit=Go%21

Mine is Scroogeytroll Wickedbottom.

Sounds about right!!!

[Stralya]

Nastywhiner Rottenbottom

Seems apt

[STEPPENWOLF]

I didn't even go to the site and I am.

EARSCHPLITTENLOUDENBOOMER

[HobbyMan]

Nastygrinch Fussynose

[Ken Talbot]

Gloomywhiner Rottenbottom

Hmm, twins, separated at birth maybe? Whadd'ya think, Stalya...

[Stralya]

Hey Gloom baby!

I always knew I had a twin somewhere. It's OK though, I won't tell anyone.

Nasty.

[Erik the Red]

the mole family

There was a mamma mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole outside of a farm house out in the country.

The papa mole reached his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmmm, I smell honey."

The mother mole ran up and squeezed in next to him. "That's not honey, that's maple syrup! I smell maple syrup."

The baby mole tried to reach his head outside the hole but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. The baby mole said, "The only thing I can smell is molasses."

[BrianB]

Lady & the Lexus

_
A lady walked into a Lexus dealership just to browse. Suddenly she spotted the most beautiful car that she had ever seen, and walked over to inspect it.
As she bent forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected little fart escaped her.
Embarrassed, she anxiously looked around to see if anyone had noticed and hoped a salesperson didn't pop up right now.
But, as she turned back, there, standing next to her, was a salesman.
With a pleasant smile he greeted her, 'Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?'
Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting as though nothing had happened, she smiled back and asked, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?'
Still smiling pleasantly, he replied, 'Madame, I'm very sorry to say that if you farted just by touching it, you'll **** when you hear the price.

[Stralya]

Mole asses

Hahahahahahahahah

I just got it.

Dan
Painfully slow

[Erik the Red]

Yeah, I probably should've written it that way. It's much easier to stress the right syllables when you're actually telling it.

[GNEPIG]

LOL, mole-asses!. That joke sounds so 3rd grade, yet I can't quit laughing.


COUGH SYRUP

The pharmacist walks into the store to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. He asks the blonde clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"

The blonde clerk responds: "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."

The pharmacist yells: "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with a laxative!"

The blonde clerk responds, "Of course you can! Look at him, he's afraid to cough.

[Stralya]

Fave blonde joke

Why do blondes have see through lunch boxes?

So they can tell if they're going to or coming from work.

[eroellig]

I'm still around.....

....been busy traveling for work. Buried my father a month ago. That sucked...

Anyway, my contribution to the J.O.T.D. thread.


------


There was a fly, buzzing around over the surface of a river.

There was a trout in the river watching the fly. And the trout said to itself,
"Now if that fly would only drop 6 inches, I could jump up and get that fly and have a nice little snack."

Over on the bank of the river is a bear. And the bear is watching the trout and the fly. And the bear says to itself,
"Now if that fly would only drop 6 inches, the trout would jump up and get the fly, and I could run out, get the trout and have something to eat."

Over on the other bank is a hunter. And the hunter is watching the bear, the trout and the fly. And the hunter says to himself,
"Now if that fly would only drop 6 inches, the trout would jump up and get the fly, the bear would run out and get the trout, and I could stand up, shoot the bear and have a trophy."

At the hunters feet is a mouse. And the mouse is watching the hunter, the bear, the trout and the fly. And the mouse says to itself,
"Now if that fly would only drop 6 inches, the trout would jump up and get the fly, the bear would run out and get the trout, the hunter would toss his sandwich onto the ground and shoot the bear, and I can jump out onto the sandwich and have a really nice meal."

Not far from the hunter's feet in the bushes is a cat. And the cat is watching the mouse, the hunter, the bear, the trout and the fly. And the cat says to itself,
"Now if that fly would only drop 6 inches, the trout would jump up and get the fly, the bear would run out and get the trout, the hunter would toss his sandwich onto the ground and shoot the bear, the mouse would jump out onto the sandwich, and I can jump out and get the mouse and have a wonderful time playing with the mouse, then eating it."

Well, as it turned out, the fly DID drop 6 inches.

The trout jumped up and got the fly.

The bear ran out and got the trout.

The hunter tossed his sandwich on the ground, stood up and shot the bear.

The mouse jumped out onto the sandwich.

The cat jumped out after the mouse, missed and fell into the river.

Now, what is the moral to this little story?


scroll down for the answer.......






















When a fly drops 6 inches, a pussy gets wet!

[BrianB]

Never saw that one coming.

[tmworks]

that was good

nether did I.