J O T D

[Radioguylogs]

ebay Entertainment

ebay listings can be so entertaining:

http://www.ebay.com/itm/1980-Yamaha-...95e9b5&vxp=mtr

"It is in good used condition and ready to install"

With duct tape?

[DiverRay]

No, Gorilla Tape, it's black........

[jetmechmarty]

If you watch any of the Ichiban Moto videos, it's called assembly tape.

[Schming]

Men's Jokes

The wife's back on the warpath again.
Last night she said she wanted to make a sex movie, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.
My next bowel movement could spell disaster.

My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off.

I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.

After both suffering from depression for a while,
the wife and I were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, ´Screw it, I'll soldier on!

I woke up this morning at 8, and could smell something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered McDonald’s serves breakfast until 11:30.

Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. Took her to the fair last night, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.

The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"

My wife packed my bags and said "GET OUT!!!".
As I walked out the front door, she screamed,
"I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!" "Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"

I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom.
It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.

[donebysunday]

If I were you I'd stick around and see what happens next ! ?????

The wife's back on the warpath again.
Last night she said she wanted to make a sex movie, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.
My next bowel movement could spell disaster.

My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off.

I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.

After both suffering from depression for a while,
the wife and I were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, ´Screw it, I'll soldier on!

I woke up this morning at 8, and could smell something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered McDonald’s serves breakfast until 11:30.

Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. Took her to the fair last night, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.

The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"

My wife packed my bags and said "GET OUT!!!".
As I walked out the front door, she screamed,
"I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!" "Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"

I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom.
It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.

[LoHo]

Yep yep, feast yer eyes on this:



http://pittsburgh.craigslist.org/mcy/4781589946.html

Gotta love a guy who leaves the dead-blow hammer in the picture...my second favorite tool.

[jetmechmarty]

Men on estrogen

http://hipsterbikevideos.com/collective-douche-chills/

https://vimeo.com/55420992

[Orange4]

The cringe factor is off the charts.

[IanDMacDonald]

http://hipsterbikevideos.com/collective-douche-chills/

https://vimeo.com/55420992

Watching four minutes of it, I questioned why Marty posted this. I saw the silver lining to it. Bunch of guys having fun. Then I read the comments to the video . . . OMFG!!! I nearly died laughing at some of them. No, I did not watch the whole video. Comments were enough.

[jetmechmarty]

Watching four minutes of it, I questioned why Marty posted this. I saw the silver lining to it. Bunch of guys having fun. Then I read the comments to the video . . . OMFG!!! I nearly died laughing at some of them. No, I did not watch the whole video. Comments were enough.

Trust me, I couldn't get more than half way through it, either. Here are a bunch of them!
http://hipsterbikevideos.com/

[rdmcguy]

Men ??

I'd like to see some of these ""men " on real trails ...
Just to watch them cry and call for mommy !
Almost makes me want to puke lol

[trbig]

lmao.. Comment from poster named "Christie": I’d call these dudes pu**ies if it wasn’t such an insult to my vagina." lol..

===========================

OK, just got this in an an email and laughed..

The Hypnotist at a Senior Home

It was entertainment night at the senior citizens' center where York was staying.

After the community sing along led by Alice at the piano, it was time for the star of the show - Claude the Hypnotist!

Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance.

"Yes, each and every one of you and all at the same time." said Claude.

The excited chatter dropped to silence as Claude carefully withdrew from his waistcoat pocket; a beautiful antique gold pocket watch and chain.

"I want you to keep your eyes on this watch" said Claude, holding the watch high for all to see.

"It is a very special and valuable watch that has been in my family for six generations" said Claude.

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting

"Watch the watch --- Watch the watch ----Watch the watch"

The audience became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth.

The lights were twinkling as they were reflected from its gleaming surfaces.

A hundred and fifty pairs of eyes followed the movements of the gently swaying watch.

They were hypnotized.

And then, suddenly, the chain broke!!!

The beautiful watch fell to the stage and burst apart on impact!

"SH*T!" said Claude.

It took them three days to clean the Senior Citizens' Center - and Claude was never invited back again.

[IanDMacDonald]

Lmfaooooooo. That was funny! My gf works at a senior care center. Dirty job.

[jetmechmarty]

Here's one that should get a good laugh!

http://vimeo.com/115733204

[IanDMacDonald]

Not that I care because it's a Ninja, but I wonder what his goals are with that bike? I'm sure he is actually more competent than the video depicts.