ride off

[mstic2000]

Oldyam80sg, the depression you are experiencing is within you. It's not the things on the outside that are causing it. I know because my 16 year old son was having the same problems especially when he found a new girlfriend. Something they would do would set him off and he would go suicidal. I would try and talk to him and he would pull out a knife and tell me that if I didn't get away from him he was going to slit his throat right in front of me. He didn't want to talk about it and he didn't know how to talk about it. He didn't understand what was going on. He didn't have any control over it. It broke my heart to watch him struggle with it because he couldn't control it and didn't know what to do about it. I'll never forget the rage in his eyes. We took him to a therapist that prescribed medication but that didn't seem to help too much. Then he got into a alcohol 12 step group because he was drinking and doing drugs. He is a totally different person today. It's unbelievable what that 12 step group has done for him. He does still have his moments of restless, irritable, and discontent but as long as he goes to meetings he is pretty good and there has been no more drinking, drugs or suicidal episodes in a long time. I have my son back and I am thankful to God for that! What I am trying to say here is that he finally found out what the problem was. It wasn't anything he was in control of. It was within him. It had nothing to do with what was going on outside of him. They were symptoms of an underlying issue within him. I hope this may help you to find out what will work for you. Best wishes for you.

I just wanted to add that my son was in so much emotional pain that he believed that ending it all was the best solution for him. He really believed that in his heart. He just wanted the pain to go away and he didn't know how to make it go away other than ending it all. He felt that was the only solution because he didn't understand what was causing it and he had no control over it. One thing that really opened my eyes to depression was realizing that the things he was doing in his rage, he had no control over his behavior. There were many times I thought I would come home and find him dead. But it was the emotional pain that drove him to find the help that he really needed. He was willing to try anything and he found it in a 12 step group. He has now opened up to me and can talk to me about anything. We have the best father & son relationship I could have ever wished for.

[Rstyduck]

Not everybodies life is fantastic.
Some just cant build big enough walls.

If you do end it, give your bike to someone that cant afford it before you do.

[oldyam80sg]

The bike is not going anywhere.Actually talked to the girl at the bank and she is finding out the grass so to speak isn't much greener on the other side.She used to have a lot of male friends and now she is finding out they are not around when she needs them.I guess they found out just like me.

[mstic2000]

Not everybodies life is fantastic.
Some just cant build big enough walls.

If you do end it, give your bike to someone that cant afford it before you do.

Sometime the walls we build around ourselves for protection can be the problem to finding the real solution...

[DGXSER]

A wall is simply a device we use to force us to use the door. If that door does not leed us where we want or need to go, better start cutting some new openings.