The grossest thing ever on your scoot...

[Ivan]

I REALLY wanted to yank him out of the truck, but....
how would you stop a semi with an XS11?????????


I'll take the EWWWWWWWWWWWWW award

Pocket knife to the trailer air supply lines usually works fairly quickly.

[Ivan]

LMAO!!!

OK, here's my story. I was driving an 18 wheeler across I74 late one night. I was in the granny lane, and another big truck was maybe twenty feet from my ICC (rear) bumper in the hammer lane, and I had a four-wheeler riding my ICC bumper. Just ahead barely in the pool of light thrown by my headlights I saw something right on the zipper line crossing the road. I moved the truck over so I would straddle whatever it was, and just before I passed over it I saw it was an opossum.

After I got past it I got on the radio to the other driver in the hammer lane and said 'Sorry about that driver, I was just trying to keep from hitting that possum.' He came back and said, 'You missed it, but that four wheeler behind you didn't. It really squished.' Wasn't so gross for me, but I'll bet it was for that cage driver.

Are you sure it was dead after that, or just playing opossum?

[Ken Talbot]

There was the time SWMBO and I were travelling to or from somewhere on one of our summer trips. We started to catch up to a slower-moving transport truck, and as we got closer, started to notice a 'barnyard' type smell. Turned out to be a cattle hauler and it was dripping quite a stream of 'stuff'. Had to decide whether to fall way back, or get in way closer and get around. We didn't fall back. We did have to clean the windshields at the next gas stop.

[dbeardslee]

Love the bird story. Sounds like a major 'ouch'.

Renegade - Don't want to hyjack, but still got my CDL, but had to take a hiatus to take car of an aging parent. Was running for TMC (trucker's marine corp, too much chrome, or my favorite - tarp my cargo ), and will probably go back to skateboards when the time comes. Although no-touch and a dry van do have their appeal.

[Wildkat]

Turned out to be a cattle hauler and it was dripping quite a stream of 'stuff'. Had to decide whether to fall way back, or get in way closer and get around. We didn't fall back. We did have to clean the windshields at the next gas stop.

Oh wait... this did remind me of an ewwwwww moment... I must have blocked this one...
lol

John and I were out riding one afternoon and began feeling drops of water hitting us... very much like when you get behind a car that's washing its windshield... The drops started getting more and more numerous as we closed in on a horse trailer and realized that the drops were coming from the backend... of the trailer and the horses... and I don't ride with a windshield...
Luckily, I DO ride with a full face helmet... I got my shield down ASAP... but not quite quickly enough...

[oseaghdha]

Oh wait... this did remind me of an ewwwwww moment... I must have blocked this one...
lol

John and I were out riding one afternoon and began feeling drops of water hitting us... very much like when you get behind a car that's washing its windshield... The drops started getting more and more numerous as we closed in on a horse trailer and realized that the drops were coming from the backend... of the trailer and the horses... and I don't ride with a windshield...
Luckily, I DO ride with a full face helmet... I got my shield down ASAP... but not quite quickly enough...

I too have run into the "Yellow Mist".
BLEH!
Went through a swarm of bees in the truck one day, very glad I was not on the bike.

Had one of those massive West Texas Grasshoppers hit my faceshield once. An amazing amount of green goo in those things. +1 for fullface!

[DJinNH]

I guess it could be worse. My friend was driving home one night from work in Key Largo. He lived up in the mainland in Homestead. It was about 4 a.m. and I think it was foggy that night when all of a sudden.....BAM, he hit something in the road.

He turned around and discovered what he had hit was an alligator. Lucky for him he was in a car and not on a bike.

Don

[dbeardslee]

Man, on the cattle haulers what else can you say but ewwww .

Pocket knife to the trailer air supply lines usually works fairly quickly.

Quarters slipped in between the glad hand connections to the service and emergency lines work pretty good too. Brakes won't release on the trailer, doesn't hurt anything, and it'll take 'em forever to find 'em. Not that I've ever done it.

Are you sure it was dead after that, or just playing opossum?

UGH! IVAN!.....

[Trainzz]

The POO game

I am amazed.......and shocked that none of you have played the POO game. It is the staple of Western Kansas back road riding.
The rules are simple.
Spot the piles of cow flop on the road ahead.
Accelerate madly ahead of your buddies.
Cut through the poo (extra points given for the perfect back tire only maneuver) splattering the green/brown steaming mass on the slower riders.
The winner of this game gets to sit and drink an adult beverage,while the loser cleans his ride. Discussing his genetic deficiencies in the area of reflexes and vision in a loud voice with anyone available is also allowed.

I have also played this game in the Estes Park CO area with elk poo. Now thase creatures have an interesting digestive tract...............

[BigDick]

I am amazed.......and shocked that none of you have played the POO game. It is the staple of Western Kansas back road riding.
The rules are simple.
Spot the piles of cow flop on the road ahead.
Accelerate madly ahead of your buddies.
Cut through the poo (extra points given for the perfect back tire only maneuver) splattering the green/brown steaming mass on the slower riders.
The winner of this game gets to sit and drink an adult beverage,while the loser cleans his ride. Discussing his genetic deficiencies in the area of reflexes and vision in a loud voice with anyone available is also allowed.

I have also played this game in the Estes Park CO area with elk poo. Now thase creatures have an interesting digestive tract...............

You go to hell for that don't you?

[dbeardslee]

Man this is an ornery crew! Remind me to install a windshield before I go riding with you guys.

He turned around and discovered what he had hit was an alligator.

That's cold blooded! (thought I'd say it before Ivan did )

[darren10000]

Hi Guys

The worst thing that ever happened to me and also a lot of other people was one morning back in August 97. I had had too much beer the night before and was riding up to work. I had just got over the Medway bridge on the M2 (That's a Freeway to all guys in the US) and suddenly had the urge to puke everywhere. Unfortunatley I had a full face lid on so I lifted it up and hurled up over my right shoulder all over the windshield of some poor woman driving behind me. I was doing about 85mph and all I saw was what looked like carnage behind me so I got the hell out of there.

When I got home I fully expected the cops to be there to meet me but nothing came of it, not even on the local tv...another one I've got away with.

Cheers
Daw

[dbeardslee]

This isn't a bike story, but I was reminded of it by the previous (hilarious - LOL) post. Some years ago I was a skydive tandem master, and I had opened the parachute and was entering the pattern with my student. Up ahead I saw the top tandem master doing circles in the pattern with his student. I swung a little wide, avoided the obstacle and landed. The other tandem master came up to me later and said "Sorry about screwing up the pattern. My student was blowing chunks and I was just trying to keep it off my jumpsuit." Generally what happens when you drink to much the night before and have a big breakfast the day of your first jump.

[Shuriken]

LOL at work... thanks a lot!

Ok, I generally have a squeemish stomach, and things like Dr G and Untold mysteries of the ER gross me out a bit, but I can handle a bug or two making it passed the teeth and down the throat at 70 mph. Especially if they surrender easily and don't try to claw their way back out. I have even passed a bull hauler and gotten "scented" and it didn't bug me that much.

But tonight on the way home from work....

I caught a bug right in the lips that splattered like an over weight june bug. Of course, whoever designed the human reflex made it such that when something hurts, they shout explicatives. When I started to say #$&! &$#! it oozed into my mouth and coated my teeth with the most horrid slime, I can't even begin to describe it. It was so utterly bitter, that having my mouth washed out with lye soap would have been like a double fudge sundae. I was wretching so hard that I had to pull over and get rid of every meal I have had since Reagan was President. God it was repugnant.

Now I know why motorcyclists drink so much beer.

So, lets hear it, more gross stories.

[CatatonicBug]

Wow.... I'm new to this biking stuff, and have only gotten about 800 miles under my belt. However, I've aleady been hit by enough bugs to know that I will never ride without my full-face and the visor down. These stories are really making me think about getting a windshield too!! Gross!!!