The grossest thing ever on your scoot...

[Ivan]

Ok, I generally have a squeemish stomach, and things like Dr G and Untold mysteries of the ER gross me out a bit, but I can handle a bug or two making it passed the teeth and down the throat at 70 mph. Especially if they surrender easily and don't try to claw their way back out. I have even passed a bull hauler and gotten "scented" and it didn't bug me that much.

But tonight on the way home from work....

I caught a bug right in the lips that splattered like an over weight june bug. Of course, whoever designed the human reflex made it such that when something hurts, they shout explicatives. When I started to say #$&! &$#! it oozed into my mouth and coated my teeth with the most horrid slime, I can't even begin to describe it. It was so utterly bitter, that having my mouth washed out with lye soap would have been like a double fudge sundae. I was wretching so hard that I had to pull over and get rid of every meal I have had since Reagan was President. God it was repugnant.

Now I know why motorcyclists drink so much beer.

So, lets hear it, more gross stories.

[DenyP]

Nothing more grose! I have a son Named Mathew that has been called Chewy for years. I drug a June bug out of his mouth in his first year. I got to tell ya, I am not a tough, red neck - I wanted to puke and right now!

Deny

[Pat Kelly]

Early 70's, on back of my brothers' Honda 350 scrambler, no helmets (not required at that time), holding both our .22 cal. rifles. He ducks and a huge moth (size of a small bird) hits me square in the forehead. Goo is running into my eyes. We're both laughing.
Good times..... RIP Mike

[GARTHXS]

bird crap

Its alway your"friend" who tells you its good luck when youare the one that gets sh*t on ! Also I have gotten a yellow jacket stuck in between my helmet and my temple and those Frs don't die after one sting , that's always fun at70mph

[Big Daddy Funk]

Creepy

Not near as gross but I hit a bat at speed on a black country road. It hit me on the upper side of my chest and neck . As if the impact wasn't bad enough I could feel the wing flapping on my uncovered throat skin until I pulled over and cleaned it off. Man, I still get the willies from that one. Rick

[b.walker5]

Some years back, while enjoying a summer ride to Queenstown (our equivalent to your Aspen) I had just passed through a little town called Garston. It's one of those little "don't blink or you'll miss it" type towns with no reduction in speed limit on the way through. Just out of town on the north side there's a really good left hand sweeping corner that opens up onto a reasonable straight. Real wind open the throttle and enjoy the buzz type stuff. I wore an open face helmet in those days. Half way into this corner, cranked over on the side of my tyres I spotted a big fat juicy bumble bee about 50 yards away making a 'bee line' for my head, you know the ones, black and yellow stripey things about the size of a jumbo jet. I'm leaning over on my side at speed, any sudden movement would have meant disaster, watching this bee get closer and thinking "this is gonna hurt". A quick mental calculation of size, weight, angle of trajectory, wind speed and road conditions, etc confirmed that the thing was going to hit me dead centre in the forehead and I braced for impact. At the last minute this kamikaze bee chickened out and changed direction, but it was too late and he entered my helmet just above my right ear There i was, 85 miles an hour, riding on the side of my tyres, 100 yards of corner to go and a large angry bumble bee in my right ear . I managed to survive the corner and stop on the straight without being stung, but the act of removing my helmet was obviously too much for the bee and he let rip. He must have had time to think about the best place to inflict the most damage because he chose to inject his revenge just behind the lobe right on top of my jaw joint. Now I'm not allergic to stings but it hurt like hell. By the time I found the vindictive little b#%tard he was in his death rattle but I stomped him a couple of times and ground him into the road anyway. I put my helmet back on and continued on my ride. I had about 50 miles to go and by the time I got there the side of my face had swelled to the size of a football and I couldnt move my jaw. I stopped on the lake front and, while trying to remove my helmet drew the attention of a local policeman . He asked me if anything was wrong but when I tried to answer with a swollen jaw he thought I was drunk and made me pass a breath/alcohol test. When i passed that he started talking about saliva tests to test for drugs. I remember cursing that bee, his parents, his children and every other flying stinging insect on the planet and I'm still not thrilled with them to this day. Been stung about five times while riding over the years but that was the worst. I now wear a full face helmet. Not a gross story but it's the best i've got.

[BigDick]

back in the day, (before I left for basic and was riding every day! ><) I'd leave for work about 6 A.M. A nice little 20 mile ride to work it'd get kinda chilly in the little dips by all the creeks and ponds. I came on around onto the 4 lane where I opened her up (I usually ran 70-75 mph there) I'd just gotten straightened out and fwap! a bigazd moth hit me right in the upper lip and was hanging there flapping in the breeze. I had to reach up and pull him off of my face.

[renegade_xs11g]

Tobacco Juice
passing a truck on the way to work, he decided it was the perfect time to empty his spit cup.....
I got it right in the face......after a few gestures at the drivers door of his truck....I even think he heard me call him a ************************
twisted the throttle, made it to the office.

As I got parked, the boss came up and asked what happened, he got a call from the guy....I had on my jacket with the company name and phone number.
Long story short "He didn't see me"

[Wildkat]

I think Ivan won for the ickiest bug hit so far... but renegade... I think you got the EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW award


Worst thing I've had to this point is a wasp in a tucked in shirt (nothing to compare to b. walker's experience... thank goodness) and a few misc bug parts that splattered in my mouth... so far... I haven't had to pick anything out of my teeth though...

[Ivan]

Tobacco Juice
passing a truck on the way to work, he decided it was the perfect time to empty his spit cup.....
I got it right in the face......after a few gestures at the drivers door of his truck....I even think he heard me call him a ************************
twisted the throttle, made it to the office.

As I got parked, the boss came up and asked what happened, he got a call from the guy....I had on my jacket with the company name and phone number.
Long story short "He didn't see me"

Afraid I would have had to toss a can of whoopass at him. That just makes my skin crawl. +1 for not vomiting.

[trbig]

This won't win the contest, but I was headed down the road on a buddy's bike one time doing about 85mph with an open faced helmet. All at once I saw a blur as a dragonfly hit me on the edge of the orbit bone around my eye. It looked like flashbulbs going off in my head.. then felt like someone was shoving a red hot poker into my skull. I couldn't see and when I went to wipe my eye.. greenish, brownish, yellowish gook was in my hand. I thought I had popped my eye. All that junk and pieces were forced back inside my eye socket and felt like sandpaper. I finally saw in the mirror that my eye was still there.. but it and my ear were full of mush.

I've been in several fights in my day... even had a guy break my nose when I apparently really needed it.. but I've never in my life had a black eye like I got from that bug! I'm not smart enough to always wear a helmet.. but I always have some form of eye protection.


Tod

[renegade_xs11g]

Afraid I would have had to toss a can of whoopass at him. That just makes my skin crawl. +1 for not vomiting.

I REALLY wanted to yank him out of the truck, but....
how would you stop a semi with an XS11?????????


I'll take the EWWWWWWWWWWWWW award

[dbeardslee]

LMAO!!!

OK, here's my story. I was driving an 18 wheeler across I74 late one night. I was in the granny lane, and another big truck was maybe twenty feet from my ICC (rear) bumper in the hammer lane, and I had a four-wheeler riding my ICC bumper. Just ahead barely in the pool of light thrown by my headlights I saw something right on the zipper line crossing the road. I moved the truck over so I would straddle whatever it was, and just before I passed over it I saw it was an opossum.

After I got past it I got on the radio to the other driver in the hammer lane and said 'Sorry about that driver, I was just trying to keep from hitting that possum.' He came back and said, 'You missed it, but that four wheeler behind you didn't. It really squished.' Wasn't so gross for me, but I'll bet it was for that cage driver.

[Toolmaker Tim]

The sister of my friend told me about what happened to her boyfriend. He bought a XS11 in 1978 (boy was I jealous) and was always blasting around on back country roads. Guess he was late for work on morning, was breaking the sound barrier like usual and a sparrow flew out. I guess it was a kamakaze sparrow and hit him in the chest beak first. They took him to the emergency room with a sparrow head dangling from the center of his chest. Made a great bruise!

[renegade_xs11g]

LMAO!!!

and just before I passed over it I saw it was an opossum.

that reminded me, I got an opossum on the XS, wasn't gross at the time, but try cleaning that off the engine!

dbeardslee, the thing is, I am a truck driver, I saw his arm coming out the window, I ducked the best I could....didn't make much of a difference

BTW, are you still driving???