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  • Funny Aircraft Story

    One of my more accomplished friends is a member of a forum where this appeared. He sent it to me for a laugh.

    Bomber For Sale


    A B1 bomber was in here ( Billings , MT ) doing practice approaches and touch and go's. On one of the landings the pilot sets his brakes on fire. He taxis in, and the airport parks him on a taxiway and then puts cones around him until parts and mechanics can be brought in from Ellsworth AFB, Rapid City SD,the next day.

    The next day is a Saturday, which doesn't have much going on, so we get to laughing in the tower that maybe somebody should hang a For Sale sign on the plane. We convince one of our guys who's well known for doing things like this that it would be a good idea.

    So he takes off for the hardware store to buy a For Sale sign. On the way back he stops at a car dealer and gets one of those "As is/No Warranty" signs that hang in all used cars. On that sign was written something like low miles, new engines, needs brakes and tires. Those signs were taped together, and off goes our hero.

    He climbs over the fence, leaving some skin on the barbed wire, and makes his way the 1000 feet or so to the aircraft. As he's doing that, we see a couple of airport vehicles starting to gather with the recently arrived mechanics as well as the plane's crew. Not looking good for our intrepid airplane salesman. He gets to the nose wheel and tapes the sign to the nose strut. Then he starts to make his way back from the plane as the vehicles start to head out from the shop on the way to the bomber. Somehow he makes it without being seen.

    The vehicles arrive at the plane, and of course notice the sign right away. The Air Force guys are in stitches, funniest thing they've seen in a long time. Airport guys are not sure what to think. Airport management is livid as they've been tasked with security. Pretty soon a camera appears and all the Air Force guys are taking pictures of each other by the sign.

    Our hero is back in the tower now, and notices the bomber's commander is talking on a cell phone. Our guy gets on the radio to the airport truck and asks for that guy's phone number. As soon as he finishes that call, our guy calls the aircraft commander. When he answers, our guy says "I'm calling about the plane you have for sale." Aircraft commander about falls over from the laughter. It just so happened that the chief photographer for our local newspaper is a pilot and he may have been called prior to the sign being placed. He was told to get up here with a big lens. Here's one of the pics he got:

    http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3415/...fa96d641_o.jpg



    An article showed on the front page of the Sunday paper. When that came out, the Colonel running Ellsworth called the airport director and read him the riot act, wondering what kind of dog and pony show he was running up there. We were later informed by the crew that the sign was framed and is now permanently mounted inside the aircraft. Hard to have that kind of fun anymore.
    79 SF & 80 LG MNS
    73 & 74 RD 350's
    73 Honda CL 450
    Graveyard - '81 XS850 Special

    All of my bikes are projects, maybe one day I'll have them running.

    Comment


    • Happy Mayberry....

      Every wonder why Mayberry was such a happy place? Everyone was single; Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Gomer, Goober, Sam, Earnest T Bass, the Darling Family, Helen, Thelma, and Clara.

      Otis was the only one married, and he was always drunk....
      Last edited by crazy steve; 12-01-2015, 09:36 PM.
      Fast, Cheap, Reliable... Pick any two

      '78E original owner - resto project
      '78E ???? owner - Modder project FJ forks, 4-piston calipers F/R, 160/80-16 rear tire
      '82 XJ rebuild project
      '80SG restified, red SOLD
      '79F parts...
      '81H more parts...

      Other current bikes:
      '93 XL1200 Anniversary Sportster 85RWHP
      '86 XL883/1200 Chopper
      '82 XL1000 w/1450cc Buell, Baker 6-speed, in-progress project
      Cage: '13 Mustang GT/CS with a few 'custom' touches
      Yep, can't leave nuthin' alone...

      Comment


      • Never thought about it till now.!!! LOL.!!🎅
        1980xs1100.sg Pacifica Fairing ..stock.
        2006 Honda Shadow Spirit 1100.! ⛺

        Comment




        • Click below.....

          http://www.onlyinyourstate.com/oklahoma/memes-about-ok/
          Greg

          Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

          ― Albert Einstein

          80 SG Ol' Okie;79 engine & carbs w/pods, 45 pilots, 140 mains, Custom Mac 4 into 2 exhaust, ACCT,XS850 final drive,110/90/19 front tire,TKat fork brace, XS750 140 MPH speedometer, Vetter IV fairing, aftermarket hard bags and trunk, LG high back seat, XJ rear shocks.

          The list changes.

          Comment


          • Try your hardest to be the kind of person your dog thinks you are.

            You can live to be 100, as long as you give up everything that would make you want to live to be 100!

            Current bikes:
            '06 Suzuki DR650
            *'82 XJ1100 with the 1179 kit. "Mad Maxim"
            '82 XJ1100 Completely stock fixer-upper
            '82 XJ1100 Bagger fixer-upper
            '82 XJ1100 Motor/frame and lots of boxes of parts
            '82 XJ1100 Parts bike
            '81 XS1100 Special
            '81 YZ250
            '80 XS850 Special
            '80 XR100
            *Crashed/Totalled, still own

            Comment


            • A Christmas Tradition

              A Christmas Tradition...

              When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.
              Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
              When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.
              Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
              Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor.. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
              Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
              The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'
              And thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
              Not very many people know this.

              John
              John is in an anonymous city with an Alamo (N29.519227,W-98.678980)

              Go ahead, click on the bikes - you know you want to...the electrons are ready.
              '81 XS1100H - "Enterprise"
              Bob Jones Custom Navy bike: Tkat brace, EBC floating rotors & SS lines, ROX pivot risers, Geezer rectifier, new 3H3 engine

              "Not all treasure is silver and gold"

              Comment


              • Oils Well That Ends Well

                Joe took his new car to the dealer due to an oil leak. The service department could not find the problem and Joe took his car home only to find the next morning oil stains under the car in his drive. Again back to the dealer and again the problem could not be identified.

                When Joe got home, he placed news papers under the car and the next morning, he Gathered the oil stained newspapers and returned to the dealer and displayed the newspapers to the service manager.

                “Well,” said the service manager, “I see you have it paper trained.”
                1979 XS 1100 Special - Nicknamed "MONSTER"

                ATC fuse box
                Braded stainless brake lines
                4/2 aftermarket exhaust(temp until stock is re-chromed )
                V-Max auto cam chain adjuster
                Brake light modulator with reserve brake light bypass
                Vetter Windjammer III faring
                Tkat Fork Brace

                "Americans have the right and advantage of being armed; unlike the citizens of the countries whose governments are afraid to trust the people with arms”
                James Madison, The Federalists Papers

                Comment


                • Men don't listen

                  In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. A nurse noticed his predicament.
                  Sir, she said "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."
                  He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.
                  Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR.
                  Who would know if he touched them?
                  He couldn't resist.. He pushed WW. warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom.
                  What a nice feeling, he thought. Men restrooms don't have nice things like this.
                  Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.
                  When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure.. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure.
                  When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.
                  Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.
                  "What happened?" he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button.
                  "The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow."
                  "MEN NEVER LISTEN"
                  Hahaha!
                  To fix the problem one should not make more assumptions than the minimum needed.

                  Rodan
                  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khm6...liHntN91DHjHiS
                  1980 G Silverbird
                  Original Yamaha Fairfing and Bags
                  1198 Overbore kit
                  Grizzly 660 ACCT
                  Barnett Clutch Springs
                  R1 Clutch Fiber Plates
                  122.5 Main Jets
                  ACCT Mod
                  Mac 4-2 Flare Tips
                  Antivibe Bar ends
                  Rear trunk add-on
                  http://s1184.photobucket.com/albums/z329/viperron1/

                  Comment


                  • I've put on some weight, so I've gone to a strict rum diet. So far I've lost 3 days.
                    Try your hardest to be the kind of person your dog thinks you are.

                    You can live to be 100, as long as you give up everything that would make you want to live to be 100!

                    Current bikes:
                    '06 Suzuki DR650
                    *'82 XJ1100 with the 1179 kit. "Mad Maxim"
                    '82 XJ1100 Completely stock fixer-upper
                    '82 XJ1100 Bagger fixer-upper
                    '82 XJ1100 Motor/frame and lots of boxes of parts
                    '82 XJ1100 Parts bike
                    '81 XS1100 Special
                    '81 YZ250
                    '80 XS850 Special
                    '80 XR100
                    *Crashed/Totalled, still own

                    Comment


                    • Man.. I had trouble finding this thread. No posts since Feb? You are some UNfunny people. lol.

                      Try your hardest to be the kind of person your dog thinks you are.

                      You can live to be 100, as long as you give up everything that would make you want to live to be 100!

                      Current bikes:
                      '06 Suzuki DR650
                      *'82 XJ1100 with the 1179 kit. "Mad Maxim"
                      '82 XJ1100 Completely stock fixer-upper
                      '82 XJ1100 Bagger fixer-upper
                      '82 XJ1100 Motor/frame and lots of boxes of parts
                      '82 XJ1100 Parts bike
                      '81 XS1100 Special
                      '81 YZ250
                      '80 XS850 Special
                      '80 XR100
                      *Crashed/Totalled, still own

                      Comment


                      • A wild eyed woman walked into a crowded bar in D. C. waving an unholstered pistol and yelled, "I have a 45 caliber Colt 1911 with a seven round magazine plus one in the chamber and I want to know who's been sleeping with my husband." A voice from the back of the room called out, "You need more ammo Hillary!”




                        1981 XS1100H Venturer
                        K&N Air Filter
                        ACCT
                        Custom Paint by Deitz
                        Geezer Rectifier/Regulator
                        Chacal Stainless Steel Braided Brake Lines
                        Chrome Front Rotor & Caliper Covers
                        Stebel Nautilus Horn
                        EBC Front Rotors
                        Limie Accent Moves On In 2015

                        Mike

                        Comment


                        • Mike that's just Deplorable.
                          To fix the problem one should not make more assumptions than the minimum needed.

                          Rodan
                          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khm6...liHntN91DHjHiS
                          1980 G Silverbird
                          Original Yamaha Fairfing and Bags
                          1198 Overbore kit
                          Grizzly 660 ACCT
                          Barnett Clutch Springs
                          R1 Clutch Fiber Plates
                          122.5 Main Jets
                          ACCT Mod
                          Mac 4-2 Flare Tips
                          Antivibe Bar ends
                          Rear trunk add-on
                          http://s1184.photobucket.com/albums/z329/viperron1/

                          Comment


                          • Try your hardest to be the kind of person your dog thinks you are.

                            You can live to be 100, as long as you give up everything that would make you want to live to be 100!

                            Current bikes:
                            '06 Suzuki DR650
                            *'82 XJ1100 with the 1179 kit. "Mad Maxim"
                            '82 XJ1100 Completely stock fixer-upper
                            '82 XJ1100 Bagger fixer-upper
                            '82 XJ1100 Motor/frame and lots of boxes of parts
                            '82 XJ1100 Parts bike
                            '81 XS1100 Special
                            '81 YZ250
                            '80 XS850 Special
                            '80 XR100
                            *Crashed/Totalled, still own

                            Comment




                            • Reminds me of a trip to Zion National Park, Brent? lol.
                              Try your hardest to be the kind of person your dog thinks you are.

                              You can live to be 100, as long as you give up everything that would make you want to live to be 100!

                              Current bikes:
                              '06 Suzuki DR650
                              *'82 XJ1100 with the 1179 kit. "Mad Maxim"
                              '82 XJ1100 Completely stock fixer-upper
                              '82 XJ1100 Bagger fixer-upper
                              '82 XJ1100 Motor/frame and lots of boxes of parts
                              '82 XJ1100 Parts bike
                              '81 XS1100 Special
                              '81 YZ250
                              '80 XS850 Special
                              '80 XR100
                              *Crashed/Totalled, still own

                              Comment


                              • SEX AT 68

                                I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox,
                                Informing me that I can have sex at 68.
                                I'm so happy, because I live at number 72.
                                So it's not too far to walk home afterwards.
                                And it's the same side of the street.
                                I don't even have to cross the road!
                                2-79 XS1100 SF
                                2-78 XS1100 E Best bike Ever
                                80 XS 1100 SG Big bore kit but not fully running yet.
                                Couple of more parts bikes of which 2 more will live!

                                Comment

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