Because he was riding a Special... the Yamaha rider had to stop for gas every 100 miles and Suzette was growing weary... as was the XS rider when she began to ask questions such as, "Does this bike make my butt look big?"
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81 SH Something Special
81 frame, 80 tank and side covers, 79 tail light and carbs, 78 engine, 750 final drive mod, Geezer rec/reg, 140 mains, LH wheels
☺
79 SF MEAUQABEAUXS
81SH Nor'eas tah (Old Red)
80 LG Black Magic
78 E Standard Practice
James 3:17
If I can make at least one person smile, or pee their pants a little, or maybe spit out their drink; then my day is not wasted.
“Alis Volat Propriis”
Yamaha XS 1100 Classic
For those on FB
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To which he stupidly replied, "No... your BUTT makes your butt look big!"
Th cute smile Suzette USED to have on her face was gone. Her right hand twisted... and she was gone also.Try your hardest to be the kind of person your dog thinks you are.
You can live to be 100, as long as you give up everything that would make you want to live to be 100!
Current bikes:
'06 Suzuki DR650
*'82 XJ1100 with the 1179 kit. "Mad Maxim"
'82 XJ1100 Completely stock fixer-upper
'82 XJ1100 Bagger fixer-upper
'82 XJ1100 Motor/frame and lots of boxes of parts
'82 XJ1100 Parts bike
'81 XS1100 Special
'81 YZ250
'80 XS850 Special
'80 XR100
*Crashed/Totalled, still own
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One last thought flitted across his conciousness... Hmmm, Maybe I should have said: The bike is doing the best it can....instead.
Then he shrugged, "oh, well, he muttered to himself, plenty more where that one came from..."Nice day, if it doesn't rain...
'05 ST1300
'83 502/502 Monte Carlo for sale/trade
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Then he shrugged, "oh, well, he muttered to himself, plenty more where that one came from..."
Then again, maybe not. Checking out the billfold he finds that her name is really Holly and from Miami, FL biking her way across the USA Plucked her eyebrows on the way Shaved her legs and then he was a she...she did say “Hey babe, wanna take a ride on the wild side?”
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As he checks out Suzette/Holly's billfold the young man thinks "If there's one thing meaner than a scorned woman it's a ticked-off transvestite. Perhaps even now she/he is planning a brutal revenge?" Thus realizing that the whole incident is a sign from God to abandon the masochistic self-aggrandizement of seeking an Iron-Butt certificate, he reformulates his plan - - -Fred Hill, S'toon
XS11SG with Spirit of America sidecar
"The Flying Pumpkin"
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"Yes!" he thought, "Even if I can't spell it, I do know where it is. If I stay off the superslab and just take a sightseers tour down the secondary roads where the vengeful S/H will never think to find me I can deke into that nameless small town I know of to get my Doctor buddy to cut this effin' cast off and by easy stages make it into Albuwhatsitsname in time to join up with my brother's crew in the annual hot air balloon race."Fred Hill, S'toon
XS11SG with Spirit of America sidecar
"The Flying Pumpkin"
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Well it felt great to get that cast off, he said, and he finally made it to Albuwhatsitsname. Wow the weather was great and he plans to see his Bro's crew off on the Balloon race. He was offered a ride in the balloon but he choose to ride the XS he is so dear to. It was lift off time and as soon as his Bro was sailing away, He mounted his bike, Fired it up, and set off down the highway.1980 XS Eleven Special
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The young man washing his car paused at the sound of a motorcycle in the distance.....
The unmistakable sound of an XS1100, w/Jardine 4 into 1s, approaching at a high rate of speed...
His girlfriend, Suzette, looked at the Yamaha rider too, though for a different reason.
Suzette noticed that the riders right leg was in plaster and in the distance, following the Yamaha, red and blue flashing lights.....
As the Yamaha quickly closed the distance between them, Suzette thought she could hear a voice from the ambulance crying out to the motorcyclist, "Hey! We want our catheter back!"
But the rider kept going, knowing he was trying for an "Iron Butt" before the day was through.
An approaching storm cloud and a series of intimidating twisties was rapidly approaching.
He decided he should find a place to rest a bit and let the storm pass.
After a couple twisties he came across a restaurant called "EATS"! He pulled up to the front door.
As he gets off the bike, he wishes he had installed that fork brace and new front tire, it is going to be a long day.
Sitting at a window seat watching the rain come down he starts to unwind and notice his surroundings, especially the waitress and then a weird question pops into his mind, "wonder what kinda meat is in this chili?"
Just then as he is looking out the window, he spots this sign that he did not notice previously.
Suddenly he decides it is time to leave this place and get back on the road.
At this point he only wanted to hear the purr of the xs before another cat-tasrophy occured.
As he walks out into the rain to board his XS, many different forum post begin to creep into his mind. 'Will my pods suck in water? Damn! I wish I would have gone through and cleaned/siliconed all my electrical connections. Do I have the right tires and oil for this ride?'
Meanwhile, Suzette was able to get away from her boyfriend, and came riding up and stopped her bike just ahead of him. Looking back she smiled and said, Want burn some rubber? He quickly replied, "Sign me up!!!". And off they went.
Because he was riding a Special... the Yamaha rider had to stop for gas every 100 miles and Suzette was growing weary... as was the XS rider when she began to ask questions such as, "Does this bike make my butt look big?"
To which he stupidly replied, "No... your BUTT makes your butt look big!"
The cute smile Suzette USED to have on her face was gone. Her right hand twisted... and she was gone also.
"Jut as well" the XSrider thought, "she had a shrewish look about her; lucky I was able to snag her billfold at that last gas stop - - - "
One last thought flitted across his conciousness... Hmmm, Maybe I should have said: The bike is doing the best it can....instead.
Then he shrugged, "oh, well, he muttered to himself, plenty more where that one came from..."
Then again, maybe not. Checking out the billfold he finds that her name is really Holly and from Miami, FL biking her way across the USA Plucked her eyebrows on the way Shaved her legs and then he was a she...she did say “Hey babe, wanna take a ride on the wild side?”
As he checks out Suzette/Holly's billfold the young man thinks "If there's one thing meaner than a scorned woman it's a ticked-off transvestite. Perhaps even now she/he is planning a brutal revenge?" Thus realizing that the whole incident is a sign from God to abandon the masochistic self-aggrandizement of seeking an Iron-Butt certificate, he reformulates his plan - - -
So he decided to take the next turn to Albequirkey!!!
"Yes!" he thought, "Even if I can't spell it, I do know where it is. If I stay off the superslab and just take a sightseers tour down the secondary roads where the vengeful S/H will never think to find me I can deke into that nameless small town I know of to get my Doctor buddy to cut this effin' cast off and by easy stages make it into Albuwhatsitsname in time to join up with my brother's crew in the annual hot air balloon race."
Well it felt great to get that cast off, he said, and he finally made it to Albuwhatsitsname. Wow the weather was great and he plans to see his Bro's crew off on the Balloon race. He was offered a ride in the balloon but he choose to ride the XS he is so dear to. It was lift off time and as soon as his Bro was sailing away, He mounted his bike, Fired it up, and set off down the highway.
"I think I'll head on over to the left coast", he mused, "maybe check out a few of the Xsives over in Californica"Ken Talbot
Comment
-
The young man washing his car paused at the sound of a motorcycle in the distance.....
The unmistakable sound of an XS1100, w/Jardine 4 into 1s, approaching at a high rate of speed...
His girlfriend, Suzette, looked at the Yamaha rider too, though for a different reason.
Suzette noticed that the riders right leg was in plaster and in the distance, following the Yamaha, red and blue flashing lights.....
As the Yamaha quickly closed the distance between them, Suzette thought she could hear a voice from the ambulance crying out to the motorcyclist, "Hey! We want our catheter back!"
But the rider kept going, knowing he was trying for an "Iron Butt" before the day was through.
An approaching storm cloud and a series of intimidating twisties was rapidly approaching.
He decided he should find a place to rest a bit and let the storm pass.
After a couple twisties he came across a restaurant called "EATS"! He pulled up to the front door.
As he gets off the bike, he wishes he had installed that fork brace and new front tire, it is going to be a long day.
Sitting at a window seat watching the rain come down he starts to unwind and notice his surroundings, especially the waitress and then a weird question pops into his mind, "wonder what kinda meat is in this chili?"
Just then as he is looking out the window, he spots this sign that he did not notice previously.
Suddenly he decides it is time to leave this place and get back on the road.
At this point he only wanted to hear the purr of the xs before another cat-tasrophy occured.
As he walks out into the rain to board his XS, many different forum post begin to creep into his mind. 'Will my pods suck in water? Damn! I wish I would have gone through and cleaned/siliconed all my electrical connections. Do I have the right tires and oil for this ride?'
Meanwhile, Suzette was able to get away from her boyfriend, and came riding up and stopped her bike just ahead of him. Looking back she smiled and said, Want burn some rubber? He quickly replied, "Sign me up!!!". And off they went.
Because he was riding a Special... the Yamaha rider had to stop for gas every 100 miles and Suzette was growing weary... as was the XS rider when she began to ask questions such as, "Does this bike make my butt look big?"
To which he stupidly replied, "No... your BUTT makes your butt look big!"
The cute smile Suzette USED to have on her face was gone. Her right hand twisted... and she was gone also.
"Jut as well" the XSrider thought, "she had a shrewish look about her; lucky I was able to snag her billfold at that last gas stop - - - "
One last thought flitted across his conciousness... Hmmm, Maybe I should have said: The bike is doing the best it can....instead.
Then he shrugged, "oh, well, he muttered to himself, plenty more where that one came from..."
Then again, maybe not. Checking out the billfold he finds that her name is really Holly and from Miami, FL biking her way across the USA Plucked her eyebrows on the way Shaved her legs and then he was a she...she did say “Hey babe, wanna take a ride on the wild side?”
As he checks out Suzette/Holly's billfold the young man thinks "If there's one thing meaner than a scorned woman it's a ticked-off transvestite. Perhaps even now she/he is planning a brutal revenge?" Thus realizing that the whole incident is a sign from God to abandon the masochistic self-aggrandizement of seeking an Iron-Butt certificate, he reformulates his plan - - -
So he decided to take the next turn to Albequirkey!!!
"Yes!" he thought, "Even if I can't spell it, I do know where it is. If I stay off the superslab and just take a sightseers tour down the secondary roads where the vengeful S/H will never think to find me I can deke into that nameless small town I know of to get my Doctor buddy to cut this effin' cast off and by easy stages make it into Albuwhatsitsname in time to join up with my brother's crew in the annual hot air balloon race."
Well it felt great to get that cast off, he said, and he finally made it to Albuwhatsitsname. Wow the weather was great and he plans to see his Bro's crew off on the Balloon race. He was offered a ride in the balloon but he choose to ride the XS he is so dear to. It was lift off time and as soon as his Bro was sailing away, He mounted his bike, Fired it up, and set off down the highway.
"I think I'll head on over to the left coast", he mused, "maybe check out a few of the Xsives over in Californica"
The desert was brutal as the hot sun beat down on his neck... but the Yamaha rider pressed on... realizing suddenly that 100 miles a tank would not get him to the next gas station...81 SH Something Special
81 frame, 80 tank and side covers, 79 tail light and carbs, 78 engine, 750 final drive mod, Geezer rec/reg, 140 mains, LH wheels
☺
79 SF MEAUQABEAUXS
81SH Nor'eas tah (Old Red)
80 LG Black Magic
78 E Standard Practice
James 3:17
If I can make at least one person smile, or pee their pants a little, or maybe spit out their drink; then my day is not wasted.
“Alis Volat Propriis”
Yamaha XS 1100 Classic
For those on FB
Comment
-
The desert was brutal as the hot sun beat down on his neck... but the Yamaha rider pressed on... realizing suddenly that 100 miles a tank would not get him to the next gas station...nor even to the next patch of shade - - - so that anyplace would be as good as any other to pull over to soak a bandanna from his waterbottle and drape it round his neck and then top up the XS11s puny gas tank from the 2 gallon jerrycan strapped to the bike's carrier along with the rest of his kit. "Another step to put into Maslov's pyramid" he thought as he restrapped the now nearly empty jerrycan back onto his luggage "In between 3 minutes without air and 3 days without water goes 100 miles without gas"Fred Hill, S'toon
XS11SG with Spirit of America sidecar
"The Flying Pumpkin"
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Contemplating his situation, pondering his fate, and wondering where his left side cover had fallen off, the XSive saw a speck in the distance. The speck grew larger and larger until it revealed itself to be a red convertible Chevelle, about a '68 he figured, with a gorgeous woman at the wheel. It slowed as it approached, and pulled over along side the woebegone Special.
"Having trouble with your bike?" asked the knockout redhead.
"Uh, well, I, uh, might not have enough gas to get to the next station, uh, m'am," he stammered, forcing his eyes up from her ample cleavage to her sunglassed face.
"I have a small gas can in the trunk, if you'd like to top off," and she stepped out and around the car, taking her time bending over into the trunk, her short shorts barely covering her smooth round buttocks, and eventually emerged with a small red gas can. She handed it to him, and mentioned that all he had to do was pull out the nozzle and stick it in the hole, then hold it there until it was drained. He wondered why she felt the need to give such elementary advice, but shrugged it off, since she was just a woman and probably not well versed in motorcycles.
She walked over to the bike and leaned over, giving him a spectacular view of her sheer Victoria's Secret shelf bra, and caressed the fuel tank. He reached over and used the cuff of his jacket to buff out her fingerprints. He'd just painted that tank, and everyone knew that some lotions and hand softeners can mess up a paint job.
Sauntering over to his side, she brushed his arm with her busom as she pointed to the tank badge.
"XS? What does that stand for? 'Xtra Sexy'?"
Now in his element, the XSive began a lengthy explaination of the origin of the XS line of Yamaha motorcycles, the evolution of the model into its ultimate form, the vaunted 80G, and the differences between a Standard and the larval form, the Special. As he began to delve into the most recent research on motor oil formulations and tire configurations, he was startled by a shower of sand and gravel as the convertible pulled away.
"Hmmph...women just don't get motorcycles!""Time is the greatest teacher; unfortunately, it kills all of its students."
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