Dumb-a%$ Award

[Spider]

Couple new entries.

This evening I was doing a rewire/replace of the fuse-box. I've never done any serious wiring on a bike before, and am pretty much a moron when it comes to electronics. Well I took the wires, labeled, cut, etc. I then spent the better part of an hour trying to figure out how to get the wire to stay in the flat end of the right-angle connector. After a while, I realized that that flat end is for the tabs on the fuse-box, NOT the wires. The round ones are for the wires. No wonder I had difficulty. I can't believe I was staring at the thing so long with no clue.

Also, in trying to tin the wires, I was confounded when I let the iron sit on the wire for a good fifteen minutes, and the darned thing wouldn't heat enough for the solder to run. Turns out that I'd unplugged the iron after tinning it.

Lastly, I borrowed my friend's jack this winter for working on the bike. Picked up some straps, because I really don't want it falling over. Once I figured out how to get the jack to work sans manual- which only took me a week- I got going jacking the bike up securely. Problem was that I couldn't get it to jack up far enough to catch in the safety notch. No matter how I pumped the pedal, it wouldn't raise any higher. Then I heard a loud "SNAP". Freaking out, I dropped the pressure out of the jack, fearing damage to the engine or some other such thing.
Turns out my strap ratchet had exploded. I figured it was faulty, so hooked up another. Began pumping the pedal again. Again the jack wouldn't go as high as it was supposed to, no matter how much I pumped that pedal.

After a while, I began hearing a snapping-popping-cracking noise. It was the ratchet hardware on the replacement strap. I was confounded. It wasn't until my 13 year old sister took a look that I realized my mistake.

I'd strapped the bike tightly to the bottom, immobile part of the jack, before I started lifting it.

[DGXSER]

OK, I can give you clemency on most of those as we all have done such things as the first two, but the strap on the jack,.....twice.....and still took someone else to figure it out?? Step away from the tools please!!! Maybe re-think if a motorcycle is the right choice for you!!!!

[jmnjrpa]

Spider

Just step away from the eggnog and no one will get hurt!

[doorsfan83]

I think I may be able to win this award. When I was about 13 a friend of mine thought he was going to take off on my 72 Honda 125 so I thought if I pull the spark plug wire off while its running he wont be able to go anywhere. I'm guessing I don't have to explain the shock I got both figuratively and literally.

About 2 years later a friend and I decided to jump out of a two story window onto a trampoline. He was about 60 pounds lighter than me and did it several times uninjured. I was unsure but peer pressure is well you know so I jump. The trampoline was used when we got it and the springs where kind of worn so essentially I did a cannonball from two stories onto the ground. Two compressed vertebrae and a dislocated shoulder made me realize I should have went with my gut.

This one was the same friend who got me too jump karma's a bitch. We were country boys from right in the middle of Illinois and spent our time shooting anything that moved and riding anything that ran. So we are out in my yard both with .22's looking for sparrows (Unfortunately all birds learned years prior to avoid our yard). We are shooting tin cans and glass bottles in the burn pit when he notices what used to be more than likely a hollow aluminum tent pole. He takes the pole and holds it on the end of the barrel and shoots the gun and likes the way it silences the already quiet .22. Next try he gets it a little crooked and shoots himself in the hand. Essentially blows the webbing between his index and middle finger to shreds. His dad to this day doesn't know he shot himself at 28 years old he would still get an ass whooping.

[ross]

are you family?!

this sounds just like some of our family......we should get together sometime.....i'll show ya how to drink beer, ride your xs11 and shoot all at the same time!!!!!....ride hard, ride safe...ross

[Kronk]

a few years back... when I was to young for a bike licence, I was bored, so I decided I would take out the pedal bike and rip up the Antys Place hill (a big hill behind the Antys place corner store), across condo road, up another hill in an alley, over a bit and down the 10degrees off verticle hill that I rode down every day after school... I had been off school for about a week and a half, and truly learned a lesson about look before you leap...
I crested the hill which was about 10' high and 6' long, and only about 4' wide. The front tire dropped out from under me just as I saw a tent trailer parked at the bottom on the left side of the narrow hill, and a car parked on the right side... Pretty tight fit, but I figure I can make er...
and I could have... if some one didn't decide they needed dirt from the remaining portion of hill... They took back from ground level about 2 feet which left about a 3 foot drop... no biggie right?
Wrong! I thought I could jump it, but there is a funny thing about riding a hill in which your back tire is about 2 feet higher then your front tire, and you try to pull up on the bars to land something that resembles horizontal...
It does nothing...
front forks stretch out, I smack my chin off the car splitting it open, then procede to drag my face across the gravel which drags my glasses down the bridge of my nose, and shears a slice of skin off about 3/4'' wide by 1'' tall leaving a flap of skin hanging off the tip of my nose... My ex-girlfriend of a day and a half at the time who lives across the street from this hill of death was sitting out on her front porch, and saw the whole thing...
I wake up to her standing over me with a dissapointed/relieved for dodging a huge bullet look on her face, and all she had to say was ''You didn't move for a few minutes, so i came over to make sure you were dead.... too bad'' she turned, and walked back across the street... I sence she may have been a touch bitter about the whole break up thing...
I semi straitened the forks up, got a running start as the chain was dragging on the ground, hopped on and proceded down the Antys Place hill... nose skin a'flapping in the wind, got home, took pictures, my mom took me to the hospital...
Funny thing them hospitals... they have these scrub brushes... they feel like wire brushes... they used this particular one for about 2 hours on my arms, legs, and face to get the gravel out, glued my nose flap back up, and sent me on my way...

[Kronk]

August 25/2010, posted in the "What did you do to your bike today" Thread

-loosly put the seat on the half gutted frame.
-sat down on loose seat.
-lit smoke.
-sighed because she won't be on the road till 2011
-fell off bike as seat was loose.
-threw a wrench.
-said bad words.
-went back into house...

[je2wheeler]

I received the award on my XS11 during color tuning. The oil light came on and I shut her down. I fiddeled around for a while and deturminded the pressure switch was at falt. I ordered a new switch at a price I'ed rather not repete. The switch arrived, was installed AND the light remained ON!! That is when I remembered the oil/tail/brake thingie. Checked the rear bulb and sure enough the tail light was out. But I do have a neat spair pressure switch in my parts box.

[je2wheeler]

My first mc related award

Way back when, I did a top end on a friend's '70 something CL350 Twin Honda. In a bad case of get-r-done-ites and distraction from the wife, I neglected to torque the cam sprocket screws. During the test ride, one backed out to jammed on the top of the head, cracking the head, stop the cam, break the chain, piston/valve contact, bent valves, cracked piston, bent crank. Ended up rebuilding a salvage yard engine to put my friend back on the road. That award hung 'round my neck for a long time.

[XSive Okie]

Back several years ago, I was out push mowing my yard in the 107 degree heat, when I started to get tunnel vision and was no longer sweating. I knew instantly I was gonna go down, but instead of stopping and sitting right where I was, I was determined to make it over to my patio chair. Didn't work out... got half way, passed out, and went face-first into the concrete! Broke my nose, and fractured my right cheek bone, which caused bones in my right ear to be dislocated. My daughter says the "pop" she heard when I hit is a sound she will never forget.

[barrelguy]

My turn...Long ago on my 350 Hardly I had locked the steering when parking it on the street for the night. Don't know why as I had never done that before. Ok course early the next morning heading out to work I fired it up and headed out. Straight across the street into the neighbour's VW bug. Embarassing as hell but I managed to escape.

[SteveK]

My transmission fix

I had long admired the XS11 my neighbor owned, and I finally bought it from him. My first bike...

He had raced it abit and beaten a few Harleys in the process. I knew first gear was slipping a little, I just didn't expect it to go out as quick as it did. So i printed off the repair procedure(thanks TC), drained almost all of the fluids, removed the oil filter turned the bike upside down and got started.

Please notice that I drained ALMOST all of the fluids. I had forgotten to drain the engine oil, and once I removed the exhaust from the engine, the oil started to pour out of the exhaust.

$#%^&!!#@#*()&^.

The good news is that outside of that, the rest of the repair was flawless. I guess if I had to screw something up, that was the one to do.

[webbcraft2150]

Rescue small electric scooter from landfill. Fix wiring, add batteries. Runs good on the workbench. Lets see if it will pull me. Set on floor in garage with door closed. Mount scooter, twist throttle. Takes off quick, pull brake handle, nothing, face plant garage door. Open garage door, adjust brakes so they work, zoom outa the garage and try a u-turn (0 fork rake), front end washes out, knees are around my elbows so I can't bail. Crash in driveway, tangled up in the scooter, smacking elbow hard on the concrete. Push scooter back into garage and park it. Find ice bag. Wife asks what happened, "don't ask" I snap back thru clenched teeth. "whats up with the road rash on your elbow" she asks. I fess up, just got my arse kicked, twice, by a freakin electric scooter.

[MrOzz]

Well here is my entry

Was doing the cam chain adjustment went to give the bolt that 1/4 of a turn to make sure it was tight enough. Cracked the housing.

Looks like I will be upgrading to the auto cct. To bad I cant find one on e-bay right now.

[tom clisham]

Fzr 1000

Hey Ozz:
I'm pretty sure ther're a couple on there (EBAY) listed for Fzr600's or FZR1000's. I think those'll work. Take a look