Dumb-a%$ Award

[Paintman]

what 15 yo Do

Way back when myself and 5 of my closest friends decided we would build a ramp to try and jump over an old car in the field. weel since none of at the time knew excatly what we were doing we buil this big ramp out of scraps we found. we looked and looked and decided we didnt need a landing ramp cause teh field was soft. well my dad walked out with one of his friends and asked did you figure out your approach speed and runoff area you need?
of course being kids we shruged that off i put on my 12$ at the time helmet and jumped on my trusty CR250 honda < since it has no speedo i did my bst guestimate at my speed. well i must have hit that ramp at close to 60 mph i then got that sick oh WTH have i done feeling i cleared the car my dad said i must have been about 30-40 ft in the air lucky for me when i landed the Brair bushes broke my fall. my badge of honor for that bonehead stunt wa abroken wirst and new forks for my bike. my dad came over to help and tried not to laugh to bad. but to make it even betetr one of my friends said hell i can do it you just went to fast so he hits the ramp alot slower and xatches teh roof of teh old wagon we had set up LOL so we compared X rays and went on our way .
Enough said.


John

[SiP]

Non bike one.
I'm ex- military and on several of our tracked vehicles we have re-fuel and de-fuel pumps. So one exercise we were sat on top of our vehicle chilling in the sun watching this guy go to fill a jerry can with diesel using the de-fuel pump. The thing is these pumps are designed to drain or fill a 900ltr capacity tank in short order - so when he pulled the trigger (full on of course) the resulting diesel fountain was about 30 ft high and just soaked him and everything around him. Of course as we all know diesel is so easy to wash out
I got to admit here - I didn't know until I saw him do it that the pump rate was so high, so his misfortune was my education, but goddamn it was funny.

[Guy_b_g]

At age 18 I bought my first street bike, a Kawi KZ750B2. I had ridden it for about 2 hours when I decided to cruise main on my shiney new bike.

At the end of main street in Pendleton, Oregon there is a steep hill, and a turnaround with a stop in the middle of it, you have to give traffic heading downhill (downtown) right of way.

There were two cute girls walking up the hill when I turned around and stopped at right angles to the hill.

I put my downhill foot down...bad idea...heavy...the bike fell over and broke the turn signals and mirror on the left side.

I picked the bike up, in a hurry and feeling stupid, wanting to beat-feet outta there. The girls were standing there looking mildly concerned. I accidently grabbed the clutch as I picked the bike up, and it started to roll downhill as it came upright. I tried to hold it back and let loose of the clutch...the bike overbalanced to the other side, and tipped over again. this time dragging me over the top of it. The engine was HOT. I scrambled off the bike (now missing all mirrors and turnsignals). The girls now just looked amazed, and were really trying hard not to laugh.

I shoulda' just stood up and taken a bow at that point, but instead I gathered up my badly bruised ego and lit out, went about 2 blocks and stopped for a few minutes to get my wits about me.

I've never put the downhill foot down since!

[ross]

funny thing happened about 3 years ago...

hey there folks....anywho, to the point...i mentioned 2 SWMBO that i needed a motorcycle to SAVE $$$ on gas.....my buddy said he had a bike that he would sell....looked it over, bought it, and brought it home....cost $400 for the bike and $60 for the trailer.....now, numerous $$$'s in the hole, i am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.....yes, i'm saving $$$ with the buying gas aspect of it (as long as my right wrist is still in the splint!!), but i find the $$$ i save, i put back into the bike getting all the goodies.....it's a vicious cycle....but i'm proud to be a XS11 owner and D*MN, IT'S A BLAST TO RIDE!!!....i think i got my $$$'s worth!!!!.....humbly submitted....ross

[bobberbetty]

adding a quart of oil and forgetting to screw the oil fill cap back on and ofcourse gettin hot oil on my leg riding down the road. luckely I was only like 10 min. down the road.

[FSCGunslinger]

Originally posted by psycoreefer
Last weekend SWMBO and I went for a ride on the xs. Stopped to get a drink at a gas station and I still don't exactly trust my new float valves so I shut the gas off.
Come out, hop on the bike, drive out the lot down the street and what happens, the bike quits just as I take off in the middle of an intersection. I'm sitting there, traffic is stopped and I'm cranking and swearing, then I realize that I never turned the gas back on. DOH! I'll be hearing about that one for a while.

Boy am I glad I'm not the only one to have done this.

So I'm just beaming as I ride up to my gun-dealer/harley-rider buddy's house because I'm on my "new" XJ1100. He nods approvingly and talks with me a bit about it before notices I've left the gas on. I'd never had a problem with leaking yet, but he said that it's a good habit to get into to turn the gas off as you get off, and on as you get on. "That way, if anyone tries to steal your bike and they haven't turned the gas on, they'll only get a few hundred feet." We end up doing some shooting and BSing in his basement about nothing much for about an hour or two. I get on my bike to leave, start her up, and ride her to the end of his long country gravel driveway before she starts seizing and dies. Over she goes, to the right (as I was turning left at the bottom of his driveway), right into a groove in the dirt/gravel road that was too deep for me to get my foot down to to avoid dropping her.

I did manage to get her set back up by myself, but I ended up having to have my buddy jump me after I tried to start her too many times too soon.

[trbig]

That's just the thing.... these bikes will go more than a couple hundred yards with the petcocks off. In the mornings when I am taking off easy going to work, I can get nearly a mile down the road before it starts popping and sputtering... long enough that you have to stop and wonder what the %$^& is going on... then DOH!!


OOPS... I mean... I've never done that before...


Tod

[mitch]

Im an idiot too

What bothers me is ive done all of the above and some of them twice.
Doug

[randy]

OK, I'll take one for the team....

Used to own some land in the Catskills and one Summer day I decided to ride up from Brooklyn to visit my trees. It was out in the middle between nowhere and noplace, no houses for about 2 miles. Well, I get there and the way in is on the left side of the road, so I pull up on the left and set my kickstand down off the edge of the tarmac. Well, the bike just does a slow drop as the stand digs in and before I could figure out what was happening the bike was on top of my left leg, exhaust pipe toasting my calf.

What made it difficult to get out was not the weight of the bike, but that the kickstand was dug in!

"You must be STUPID STUPID STUPID!"

[John]

I still think I did the ultimate Dumb Ass three years ago. Those of you who have been around here for a few years will know what I mean.

[randy]

Yeah, but that one hurt, not funny.

[jurgenkoppen]

deal killer

Just found a buyer for my restored 80SG.
He had $3200 cash and was ready to buy the bike.
He loved the way it looked, and went for a test drive. Bike died half way around the block. I got frantic and tore into the fuel lines, because I anticipated a kinked one. Buyer had been freaking after pushing the bike uphill for a while, and seeing me lifting seat and tank did not help to restore confidence.
Deal fell through.
After ex-buyer leaves, I turn the bike petcock on reserve, and she comes to live, purring like the cougar she is ....
I needed the money for SWMBO's greenhouse construction, but I guess, the tomatos must remain green for a bit longer,eh?

[fredintoon]

&quot; After ex-buyer leaves, I turn the bike petcock on reserve, and she comes to live, &quot;

Hi Jurgen,
your subconscious mind is smarter than you are. The real dumbarse move would be to sell off a bike to extend a greenhouse.
BTW, your little red light not working?

[BrianB]

Back in 1983, I owned a 1975 Pontiac Firebird Formula. I had the air shocks in the back and had it all jacked up. M50-15 tires that stuck out the fender wells, along with many other after market stuff.

Anyway one weekend me and a buddy were out driving around town and failed to notice my gas was low. We ran out of gas and I was approaching a stop light that had just turned yellow. Well I figured I would roll thru as to not have to push as much since I could see a gas station 2 blocks away. Well as I entered the intersection, my speed had reduced and the light turned Red. I figured I had better jump out and push it on thru and get out of the way of the other traffic since their light was now green. I go to jump out just as my buddy jumps out the other side. As soon as my left foot hit the road, the wide tire caught my foot and it ripped me right out of the car. I managed to keep hole of the steering wheel with my right hand. So there I am right hand on steering wheel, left foot under the tire, and my friend on the passenger side, unaware of what is taking place, pushing the car as hard as he can. I finally decide my best escape is to let go of the steering wheel. As I do, the car rolls off my foot, over my other leg and I am left there in the middle of the intersection laying on the road staring at oncommig cars. Adrenilin must have kicked in because I was able to jump up and hop out of the street to the curb. I can now see my friend still pushing my car about a block away. I finally make it back to the car and we get to the pump, fill with gas, and as we are ready to leave, the battery is dead. What a bad night.

Still have the scar from where my leg was dragged under the tire and spent that summer in a cast.

I am now pretty good about letting a car come to a complete stop before exiting.

[olebiker]

Ouch that one hurts just hearing about it.