Dumb-a%$ Award

[trbig]

OK... waiting for my entry into the idiot awards. Yesterday, I took my alternator cover off and cleaned it all up due to a leaking galley plug and not charging. I polished up the copper plate the brushes ride on with some 1500 sandpaper, then sprayed everything down with carb cleaner to remove any grit and oil. Fixed the galley plug with a new O-ring, then went to put the side cover back on... but decided to not button it up... just put it on and left it to dry all the carb cleaner out.
Well... this morning... walked out to the shop with my cup of coffee... had left the battery on trickle charge all night.... my dumb ^%$ decided to try to fire it up. Got it started... idled nice... got it warm for about 15 seconds then blipped the throttle. The oil pressure shot my galley plug out, blowing off my alt cover, and shot oil all over me, my shop, and all over the alternator rotor and coils that I had taken the time to clean up. I was standing on the right side of the bike. I killed the bike, looked down at my legs, wiped em off, picked my coffee up, turned off the lights and walked out... just shaking my head at myself. Wife asked what was wrong and I just walked on by. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

So... lets hear it. I wanna hear what kind of stupid things others have done.... or am I the only one??

Tod

[trbig]

ARGH.... It just hit me that it's April 1st... Happy April Fools to me!

Tod

[TopCatGr58]

Mis-Adventures in Motorcycle Mechanicing!

Well,

While rebuilding my top end on Godzilla, I had the head off, didn't have the valve shim tool, so I put the cams back in the head to check clearances. The head was off of the engine so I thought I was safe turning the cams since there weren't any pistons to hit!

I had both cams in, and of course one of the lobes on one of the cylinder pairs was pushing the valve almost all the way open. I turned the other cam checking each valve for clearance. Then I rotated the other cam checking those valves for clearance, and son of a gun, one of them had like a 1/4" of clearance!?!?

Turned the head over and saw that the valve wasn't seating completely? Huh? I didn't think I was pressing down on the head against the work bench that hard to actually bend the valve, but must have!?

SO...I ordered a new valve from Yamaha...only $35.00, got it, replaced it, and then put the cam back in and rotated the cam again to check clearance, the other cam was out this time, and clearance was okay!

Put the engine together, cams, timing chain, torqued, etc.. Something told me to do a static compression test! I found 1 cylinder with NO compression!

Pulled it back down, and checked the head, couldn't see any bent valves, they all seemed to be seating with the cams out? SO then after pulling all of the springs, I put each valve in , and spun them, and THEN I could see a slight wobble on the valve that was OPPOSITE of the bent one I had replaced. Had to get ANOTHER valve and repeat the whole rebuild process.

TURNED OUT that there isn't enough valve to valve clearance when you have both cams in, so that when a valve is open, and you rotate the other cam opening the opposing valve, they contact each other, and BEND EACH OTHER!!! DOH!!!!

[John]

I guess I sholdn't even mention forgetting to raise the kickstand.

[trbig]

Oh yes, you SHOULD mention it!!

Ya know... if you can't laugh at yourself... just put it on here so we can laugh at you! lol..


Tod

[kf4anm]

darwin

its non mc but a classic. i sold group 65 ford battery to a bloke this morning for his expedition. about noon he called and said the battery was no good. his truck wouldn't do anything. could we have sold him a bad battery. i've never sent a low voltage battery out of my store but there is a first time for everyhing. we told him to bring it back and we would test it. when he got there i put my load tester on it. 0 volts. i thought wow thats strange. i grabbed the volt meter, again 0 volts. i figured oh well and started back in to get a replacement when i noticed it. i told him to hold on and got my wrench. he had put the negative cable on over the plastic protector cap. i fixed it and his truck fired right up. i asked if it didn't ring a bell when he had to stretch the neg terminal way out to get it on. needless to say he didnt waste much time haulin ass outta there.

[prometheus578]

"On your marks, get set, here... we... go!"

Great things I've seen... and/or done.
Putting in a few extra quarts of oil 'cause they were checking it on the side stand.
Filling the bike back up with oil after a change and then noticing that you had forgotten to put the oil drain plug back in.
Not tightening the drain plug and having it fall out on the highway.
Some bikes have a spin-on oil filter that you remove and put back on with a metal cup that fits over the end that you can put a socket wrench on. There's at least two bikes running around town here with one of my "cups" inadvertantly still attached.
Putting in the wrong sparkplug and having it strike the piston and stop the engine from turning.
Dropping a screw down the sparkplug hole and stopping the engine from turning.
Dropping feeler gauges down the cam chain galley.
Getting your finger, with your wedding ring, wedged between a car's radiator and the battery's positive post.
Renting a trailer to bring your bike to the shop 'cause it won't run, only to have the mechanic walk out, flip the kill switch on the handlebar and fire it right up.
Finish pressing in wheel bearings, and then notice the bearing spacer is still sitting on your bench.
Having your "mechanic friend" rebuild your carbs and throw away the "extra parts" 'cause he didn't know where they went.
Connecting the wires from coil 1+4 to coil 2+3 and then wonder why the bike just sits there and backfires.
Telling your mechanic that your new bike was hit by a car, when any fool can tell that you'd been trying to impress your friends by doing wheelies and had actually flipped it over on yourself.
Mounting an idling bike by stepping up on the footpeg and accidentally stepping on the shift lever... and watching the bike ride away without you.
Thinking you can use Permatex for a head gasket.
Not wiping clean your new exhaust pipes and having your fingerprints permanently etched into the chrome when you fire it up.
Impressing you friends 'cause you can shift your bike without using the clutch", and then wondering why the tranny eventually stops working.
Tying down your bike in the back of your pickup by putting the straps on the turn signals.
Running your bike without the air cleaner 'cause it sounds cool, and having the grit and dirt burn grooves in your intake valves.
Restoring an old bike... hand polishing the engine, custom painting the body, making it look like a million bucks... before finding out if the engine actually worked.

[Pat Kelly]

Rode to the bike shop and bought a set of cruising pegs for my chopped CB200 (don't ask, but it looked cool). Get the new chrome twisted square bar home, hop off the bike and look at where I'm going to mount them. Stick my forehead on the hot exhaust. Burn mark a little bigger than a silver dollar. Wearing a helmet was out of the question. Fortunately AZ had no helmet law.

[remccool]

Just read any of my posts........

[jeffe]

Semi motorcycle related. Buddy and I used to camp out on our bike trips...not because we liked camping...we was cheap. We had a friend who lent us a little pump up back packing camp stove. Not out of the box yet. Thing was tiny...could put it in any extra nook or cranny...tank bag...saddle bag...where ever.
We got to our camp ground...KOA in North Carolina...and got ready to use it the first time. Hey it's only a little camp stove so all you have to do is fill it up...pump it up and light it up...right?
We got her lit up and all that happened was that the fuel flowed out and burned as it ran onto the wooden picnic table...not good being in the middle of a woods.
I being the level headed one that does not panic grabbed the frying pan ,and told my buddy to sweepit into the pan. Then I would calmly walk down to the little stream and put it out in the water. Aparently sweeping something that's on fire tends to fan
the flames. As I smelled the hair on my arm start to burn I decided to change my plan. I flung the stupid thing at the creek...it rolled down to the waters edge...landed on it's base and started burning with the prettiest blue flame. Just as we had so recently, so foolishly hoped. But wait theres more...Our next door neighbor, who had watched all the procedings with obvious interest, deadpanned..." Do you have to do that every time you use it?"
After going back and "gasp " reading the instructions we found out it had a little tiny carb with a little tiny choke that you used untill it warmed up. Live and learn I guess[

[81xsproject]

here's my non mc repeated classic. Change the oil and filter, all put back together, fill w/ oil and fire it up w/o the the filler cap. Nice oil coating EVERYWHERE.

[xswilly]

i got one
after a long 12 year sit
divide a whole bottle of marvel mistry oil between all 4 cylinders,
let it sit 2 weeks
and with the plugs out get on it and use the kick starter to spin it over
had oil everywhere all over me, the garage, the ceiling

[MartyA]

1. Asking my brother in law to help with a simple cam chain replacement.

2. Add oil in KY, drive north through Indiana for 100 miles with the oil plug in KY.

3 Thinking a Honda 350 Scrambler could outrun a police radio in NJ (hey it was almost 37 yrs ago, I'm faster now.)

[mro]

Some years back went out salmon fishing on one of my Dads buddies boat. Anouther buddy of my Dad came along too. We were out the gate and fishing north by Duxberry. Sea had 8 foot swells and about 3 foot chop

After about an hour I was sick and so was my dads buddy. Both my Dad and the guy who owned the boat are ex sailors and if you think I'm a smart as$ you gota get sea sick with a couple sailors around. Think they had a bet on which one of us was going to through up first.

Well I finally had to lean over the side and let it go. After a minuet or so I felt good enough to leave the side of the boat. They were having a grand ole time ribbing me and the other guy joined them.

I was going to get a beer to get the taste outa my mouth and as I passed the guy I just could not help myself. With my pukey breath right in his face I said "your turn". He almost knocked me down getting to the side of the boat. Up-chucked real good and started swearing but sounding kinda funny. When he turned around he had no teeth. Barfed his dentures right over the side.



mro

[prometheus578]

"HAHAHHHA"

I thought REMCOOL'S was pretty funny, till MRO's made me spit soda on the keyboard!