Sooo..monkeybutt, WTF?

[Elevener]

what is the reason for this post??

Crotch rot. Due to the environment. That is when many started going "commando"

Air em out buddy, let them swing free. No soup for you!

[Fix]

I've not tried it, but a riding buddy swears by Gold Bond.

[BA80]

Maybe you can get Ivan to do it next time y'all have some "alone time" in another one of those no tell motels you two like to bunk up together in so much.

[trbig]

I've experienced the "Monkey Butt" on many occasions, though I'm not sure exactly WHY they call it that. I've ridden almost 1200 miles in a day and not had it a big deal, and have been ready to cry sometimes after 400 miles. It does depend on the weather/humidity/TIME in the saddle, not really the miles necessarily.

I'm assuming the term comes from one's posterior being red and enflamed like a baboon in heat, though I've never actually taken a gander myself to look. I may have to have Greg's assistance next time so he can judge? The actual FEELING of Monkey Butt, to me, was described by a buddy of mine very well. It's like all the hairs are slowly being torn at a snails pace from some sensitive skin and feels much like "Sitting on a shark's open mouth while he chews."

I had it so bad once, that I could stand it no longer. I went to a Walmart to try to find SOMETHING to pad my poor hiney. I finally found what I thought would work... one of those cheap air mattresses for a swiming pool. It was the last one in the store on the discount rack since the swimming season was over. I folded the lime-green contraption up to fit my seat and blew about half a lungfull of air into it, then sat on it. I was grinning from ear to ear.. it was SUCH a relief... for about a mile. The d$&n thing had a hole in it. Just had to tough it out and ride home in pain.

For Christmas, my wife put some of that Monkey Butt powder in my stocking as a joke. I've yet to try powdering my hiney before a ride, but who knows. Maybe Greg would help me out with that also? I just have these visions of getting hot and sweaty with that powder on and having something resembling paper mache paste oozing out of the pores of my pants. It would go from "Soup is ready!" to "Who wants chowder?"


I think I'll try some padded bicycle shorts before I try that.

[Fix]

Longest I've done in a sit is 800 miles. On a thin Harley seat. I'm not ashamed to admit my ass was a little raw.

[CatatonicBug]

This has nothing to do with Vietnam, but....

They sell that stuff at Walgreens and CVS, and probably just about any pharmacy.

Personally, I've never felt the need for it, but I do suppose that chafing in that area may be possible on long, hot rides. I think that the removal of underwear, especially when seated, may actually cause more issues, since the wicking action of the cotton tends to draw the moisture away from the sensitive areas so it can evaporate.

[jetmechmarty]

This has nothing to do with Vietnam, but....

[DGXSER]

Alot of the Vietnam era vets from the USA (and where ever else they came from) dealt with very damp conditions. Having served with some of the folks who made it back, and taught soem techniques for living in the field by them, "jungle rot" as they called it was a big concern. A twenty mile march through sand with loaded ruck sack will enlighten you to how to properly protect the skin in delicate areas.

How this relates to a sore bum from miles of long distance riding I am not sure either though. Seams under your arse is no different than your wallet in your pocket, mine is always there. Longest ride so far for me in one day was 9 hours and I do not recall having any of these issues, and I was wearing jeans. No, I do not discuss my undergarments on the internet or with men.

[fredintoon]

Hi Greg, Niimi,
the connection between the original post about the need for seamless underwear, riders with no underwear and military service in Vietnam is not clear to me either.
Perhaps Elevener would care to elucidate?

[BA80]

what is the reason for this post??

Gotta admit I'm a little curious about that myself.

[hamjam]

Well fred, being from canada I guess you dont know anyone who served in Vietnam??

what is the reason for this post??

[fredintoon]

Well fred, being from canada I guess you dont know anyone who served in Vietnam??

Hi Elevener,
not personally, no. Although a fair number of Canadians did serve there as volunteers in the US forces.
Closest I came to that was my uncle George who was in Burma with the British "forgotten 14th" Army during WW2.
And he didn't talk about the war at all, let alone the state of his underwear or it's relevance to personal comfort.

[Elevener]

Well fred, being from canada I guess you dont know anyone who served in Vietnam??

[fredintoon]

Ok does anyone here really get this? I read about people bichen about it all the time. "Dont wear anything with seams, buy this "special" underwear - - -

Hi Elevener,
Jeans & jockey shorts is what's between my arse and the bike seat and I've never found the seams in them gave any special discomfort.
One time when I toured all round lake Superior I shared a hotel supper table with a rider who told me he wrote long distance touring articles for bike magazines.
He claimed the secret of comfortable riding was to not wear any underclothes and did I want to ride with him?
I told him, no.

[ddragon63]

Ya i gotta wash the sheep skin and get it on. I wanna try it out this summer. Dad always had it on. I took it off... not a fan of the look. but hey if it works it works right?