"Hey you... yeah you, Lard Ass!"

[Ivan]

Well, Prom, its like this.

My doctor said I am morbidly obease, my cholesterol is out of whack, my triglyphoriders are wrong, my blood pressure is terrible, I should exercise more and start eating right or I would die at a young age.

I told him he was f'n ugly, and if he didnt shut up, he'd die a lot sooner than I would.

Wouldnt you know it, his narrow butt out ran me, and I couldnt get a grip round his pencil neck.

I have no idea how this pertains, but its a good story. Ok, not good, but ok.

[DGXSER]

Hey Ivan

Look at it this way, you can lose weight and get your meds....yeah we can fix that.

He can get a nose job, cheek implants, chin worked over, eyes lifted or whatever the heck they do to them....yeah we can fix that to.

However, if you don't listen up and do something about those medical issues....well.....as Ron White put it "you can't fix stupid". (Said with the best intentions and concern for your well being).

[fredintoon]

- - - I told him he was f'n ugly, and if he didn't shut up, he'd die a lot sooner than I would. - - -

Hi Ivan,
then there's the true story of the four Winnipeg gay-bashers who were going to beat up a slim young fellow for being a homosexual.
He explained that while his sex life was none of their concern they should know that he was the Western Canadian middleweight karate champion.
They really should have believed him.

[jimboreeno]

Wow!

Hey Prom,
I have not been on the forum for a while... quite a while! I sold my Half-Breed and the sheer depression of it has kept me off. So I get on today and BLAMO even WORSE depression!
Take care Prom. I hope you follow all the good advice you are getting. Obviously your mind is still warped (normal) and you are able to type. (Are you using one of those wands in your teeth?)
Any way TAKE CARE!!! I am older than you and you scared me!!

All the best

[tarzan]

"Hey you... yeah you, Lard Ass!" ?

Why I outa!
Are you insinuating my XS11 makes my butt looks big?
Who are you kidding trying to draw on our heart strings like that?Everyone knows only the good die young.So it looks like you'll be gracing our presence for a looong time.
On the other hand are you setting up a good smoke screen to avoid the new taxes coming our way?
I digress, glad to hear we'll still have live entertainment here.
Get well soon
Rick

[red bandit]

Poor poor me!
Oh Prom, you just want some sympathy cause your so pathetic.
I have a quarter for you. Call somebody who cares.
Get well soon you sap!

[Ivan]

Look at it this way, you can lose weight and get your meds....yeah we can fix that.

He can get a nose job, cheek implants, chin worked over, eyes lifted or whatever the heck they do to them....yeah we can fix that to.

However, if you don't listen up and do something about those medical issues....well.....as Ron White put it "you can't fix stupid". (Said with the best intentions and concern for your well being).

The truth is that my cholesterol is actually low, and my triglycerides are just fine. My blood pressure rarely breaks 110/70 and I eat healthily. No fast foods for me, although sometimes I slip up. Lots of diet food and protien bars.

I weigh right at 325, which is small for my family, on either side. My last living grandmother is heavier than I. I have an uncle that makes me look like a midget in a pro football line. One of my aunts out weighs me, and is healthy as an ox. Now here is the interesting part: the only person in my family that I know of to die of heart troubles was my maternal grandfather. He weighed about 175, and at 60 years of age could bench press over 250. He was fit and died of congestive heart failure.

[thewiz]

I'm glad you're not gonna ...

kick right now!! I've got a few more stupid questions yet to ask you so get better soon.

While you're layin' out, have the bookmobile (or someone) bring ya' a copy of "The Abs Diet" by Zinzenko. It the most practical, sensible treatise on excercise and diet I've read to date.

[Meri]

Oy Vey!

It takes a lot to get me out of lurker mode into poster mode, but I guess this item qualifies. Good Grief! I couldn't believe it when I read it. This news is almost more than any red-blooded American Woman should be expected to bear. How could it possibly be? Prom? That perpetual dispenser of wit and wisdom and occasional vileness the genius of which bears no equal? He, whom many aspire to be like when I they grow up?

Prom?

You're three years younger than I am???

Tell me it isn't so...

<sigh>

[latexeses]

Here is the Question.....

Which will happen first??

Prom is discarged from the hospital???

Prom is thrown out of the hospital???

Does it sound like a poll question?

[DGXSER]

Hmmmmm Latexeses

Did you mean "discarded" or "Discharged"? Only one letter difference in each, and both seem just as likely!!

Prom must be worn out or we could never get away with all this unretaliated.

Hey Prom, see how many try to emulate your style to make up for your absence, they say imitation is the best form of flattery...

[latexeses]

Wel prom.. I set it up for you.. Swing away.

Discharged

[webbcraft2150]

I pity the hospital staff. I can only imagine the grief they must endure as our dear Prom is hooked up to more tubes than a carb sycronizer on a CBX Honda. I wish a speedy recovery you geriatric pterodactyl. Soon as I finish this pack of smokes, my breakfast of bacon, greasy hashbrowns and 4 eggs should be ready.

[DJinNH]

What's my point? I don't know. All these pills have me a bit light-headed... let me think for a minute.

(Like at a dining table and asking, "Are you gonna eat that?) Let me know if you don't want your Dilaudid (morphine) shots, that is if you are getting any. I'll gladly use them for my legs.

Hope you're improving, healthwise at least.

Don

[dpotter58]

Best wishes from Rebecca and i prom. Do whattheytell ya and get back to it