"Hey you... yeah you, Lard Ass!"

[prometheus578]

(Please excuse the title of this thread, but I wanted to ensure that I got everyone's attention)


Sometimes here at XS11, we do little public service announcements... you know, for the greater good.
This is one such announcement.

Now.. I've spent the last few days writing and rewriting this one.
"No good... too humorous."
"No good... too serious."
"No good either... I failed to belittle anyone..."

So.. I'm just gonna stop wasting my time and write what I feel needs to be said... in whatever manner it types out this time.

This Public Service Message is for all you cigarette smokin', over-weight, lazy, non-exercising members. And don't give me any lip... I've seen plenty of "member photos" and know who you all are.

Now, last week.. I received PMs from several astute members...
"Hey, Prom... where ya at? You disappeared."

Yes, I was AWOL for a few days.

I went missing early Wednesday morning...

Having a heart attack sometimes takes people out of the action for a while. Sometimes, it even takes them out of the action permanently.

Here is your humble narrator after surgery:


(My son thought holding the little chart underneath would be good for a laugh)


What's my point? I don't know. All these pills have me a bit light-headed... let me think for a minute.

Oh yeah... all you middle-aged members who think that you're invincible... indestructible ...
Guess what... you're not.

"Oh Prom, ease up... only old people have heart attacks."

Sure.. I may be cranky and crabby at times... but I'm only 48.
(Actually, I turn 49 next week)
T.C. and I share the same birthdate. Would've been a shame had I not been around to tease him about being older than me.

My point in writing this?

I don't know.
I'm divorced, both my sons are grown, I have no one dependant upon me...

Some of you, on the other hand, are about the same age as me... have wives.. have small children... A bit of a difference there, I feel.

Every once in a while, it's a good idea to sit down and re-evaluate our life-style choices and priorities I feel.

So... Please excuse my divulging personal info here... it's not something that I do often... unless I think that it might do some good somewhere.


Now.. don't everyone start writing little notes of sympathy and such. You already know that your thoughts and opinions don't mean anything to me.

And don't go thinkin' that I'm turnin' over a new leaf or something stupid like that. That I'm gonna change my ways... that I'm gonna quit mocking and belittling people, 'cause I'm not!
I'm still gonna be as heart-less and mean as I alway was.. if not more so!
Remember what I wrote above. I said that some of you middle-aged members think that your indestructable.
I can assure you that you're not.

BUT I AM!

[TopCatGr58]

(
This Public Service Message is for all you cigarette smokin', over-weight, lazy, non-exercising members. And don't give me any lip... I've seen plenty of "member photos" and know who you all are.

And don't go thinkin' that I'm turnin' over a new leaf or something stupid like that. That I'm gonna change my ways... that I'm gonna quit mocking and belittling people, 'cause I'm not!
I'm still gonna be as heart-less and mean as I alway was.. if not more so!
Remember what I wrote above. I said that some of you middle-aged members think that your indestructable.
I can assure you that you're not.

BUT I AM!

Hey Prom,

How can you have an attack on something you don't have?? A mystery of medical science for sure!

Glad to see you back to almost your "OLD" self! BTW, I think a nose RING would have been more complimentary than that Nose Hose...NG-Nasal Gastric tube for those in the bizz!

And folks, he IS turning over a new LEAF, a cigarette leaf to be Xact, as in cutting them out completely. Now it'll be a bit harder for him to blow smoke up our butts!

Yeah, I'm 1 year older than Prom, but at least I don't LOOK it!

I have been slacking off this fall/winter in the exercise department, due to my injured neck from this past summer and not wanting to aggravate it, but it appears to have healed itself, the inflammation having gone away, so I'll be back out pounding the streets in my New Balance running shoes, and throwing around the weights in my garage again very soon. Swmbo wants me around to torture for many a year to come.
T.C.

[XJOK2PLAY]

hey Prom....

I know you don't know me, since I'm new to the site, but we have a mutual acquaintance - trbig. Also, Bohn Frazer, and Elevenator. They've been kind enough to help me repair an '82 XJ1100 I recently purchased from Miles Baker.
Yesterday, we were putting the finishing touches on the bike rebuild, when trbig told us about what had happened to you. Sorry to hear about this. And though we haven't met yet, I have had the pleasure of reading many of your wise threads you've shared with others, and I found them to both be very witty, as well as solid experienced bits of wisdom. Now, I've heard all about how you "try" to come off as "cranky" to everyone, and I just read what you said. But...I just wanted to say I think it's cool the way you take the time to care about other guys bike problems, and this site, and the way you share your advice with them... even after going through what you just have. You inspire me. I consider it an honor to be part of the XS11 family now, considering it looks like I, too, will soon join the ranks of the divorced. (Wife left me 4 mos ago and has filed, refusing to reconcile w/ me.) Been together 27 years. I'm 46, and never imagined this could happen to me. But, ya gotta keep on rollin' w/ the punches, right?
Anyhow, this bike project is all about getting me out on the open road, with old friends, as well as meeting new friends, freedom, adventure, and putting my woes behind me.
We just fired and test road it today. Got a few adjustments, (and a new starter problem to conquer,) and it should be ready. I'm blown away by the generousity and quality of the guys I've met here so far. So, I just wanted to say hi to ya, let ya know you're in my prayers, and I wish you a speedy recovery! Ohhh, and should you decide to step out from that cranky facade you hide behind, you can always just say it's due to your "new heart".
If you're a friend of Tod's, you can't be all bad!
I can see the REAL you without ever meeting you... It's in your writing.
Thanks for inspiring me and hang in there! I'm pullin' for ya!
Sincerely,
XJOK2PLAY
(Bob Embrey)
Skiatook, Ok.

[DGXSER]

Never had...Never Will

Smoking that is....Used to be quite a bit over weight, Then I decided to fix that and lost about 35 pounds down to 190. I chose Taekwondo, for my treatment and now, 8 years later, I teach it. And have hypertension, high cholesterol, and diabetes, all diagnosed since I started my healthful habits....go figure.

Prom, well...glad your still around!! not because I want to see your scowlin face, or listen to your witty banter...or need your deductive reasoning about who has what in their garage.....We just need you to help us fix our rides!!
So quit laying around and staring down the Nurses blouses and get back at it!!

What was the public service anouncement anyway???

[renegade_xs11g]

Psst. Hey, Prom, we really didn't even notice your absence,

But, since you've decided to curse us with your presence,

no seriously, sorry to hear about the trip to the mechanic, or was it a VET!

Glad to hear you came out OK!

[DiverRay]

Prom,
I do think you needed to train the son a little better! He has the chart, but has NOT circled the correct picture!! Did you forget the picture books when he was small????
As one who quit puffing on weeds of all types at the ripe old age of 20, I DO know what you are going through in that department. As a type 1 diabetic since 29, I also know about the heart I have, and oil pump you have been using and how "frail" they can be.
I know you should be around for a few more years, just because you need to see how bad the newest member is with his writing. I know the hope of new blood to drain will keep you going, so just start slow, and let it build up like a good old steam engine...

[STEPPENWOLF]

so just start slow, and let it build up like a good old steam engine...

MY MOM will show you the way..take care of yourself...

[fredintoon]

Sooner!

Hi prom,
you greedy beggar, I had to wait until I was 57 years old to have mine. If you only had yours last Wednesday the worst is yet to come.
The Rehab Nazi Lady will appear at your bedside and fix you with her beady eye.
"You will join the Heart Attack Survivor Group!
You will attend the rehab lectures!
You will go to the indoor track to do the laps and the workouts!
You will revise your diet according to these instructions!
You will never eat anything with salt in it again!
Ever!"
This while you lay weak and helpless in the ICU cot and are powerless to resist.
So, OK, you go along with this and trudge round the track with all the other heart attack survivors and like prisoners anywhere, you talk, you swap stories.
But you are the new boy. They have all had bigger and better heart attacks than yours and they have all been closer to death's door than you were.
This gets real old after a while so I quit going. I got me a 60lb husky-shepherd cross dog from the pound and she takes me for a one hour drag around the neighborhood every day.
That keeps up my cardio exercise program and I can out-bullsh1t that dog real easy.

[lakecountrydave]

[Stralya]

Well you'll never get a brain tumor...

I'm 52 on Wednesday. I run out of breath changing the TV channel. Children point and stare at me. I can wheeze the alphabet. I wipe my arse with a rag on a stick. My underpants are currently appearing on the main mast of the Cutty Sark. My Doctor refuses to see me anymore. I smoke 50 a day. I can't change my mind without resting half way through. My shadow runs faster than I do. My knees snap, crackle and pop more than rice krispies. I'm retained by the local Hospice to come in twice a week to cheer the folks up. Fork lift operators eye me quizzically. I have no idea what my penis looks like.

And yet...

My cholesterol level is low, I don't have diabetes, my blood pressure is normal and my triglycerides are within normal levels. My liver and kidney function are normal and my heart is fine.

It's just not fair.

Get well soon you thing of unspeakable evil you!

Dan
Living on borrowed time.

[xs11lover]

Sorry to hear about your problem Prom, I enjoy your wit, you'd best get better, we have yet to have it out.

[TADracer]

Lets tell it like it is!

C'mon people, lets just tell it like it is. Prom just wanted a rest and he chose a place where he could pinch a few nurses. Noth'in more than that!

Prom, let an old guy from the swamp give you some advice on living a long life. Smoke less...bitch more....suck the heads when eating crawfish.

Glad you are feeling better, Bud.

[Wildkat]

but has NOT circled the correct picture!!

Gosh... my bad... I thought we were supposed to figure it out... I figured by the downturned expression on prom's face and lack of tears (although we can't see the nurse's face) that the 4th pic was probably the closest...

[nubee]

Hey Prom,

Glad to see you made it back!

You can abuse me a little if'n it'll makeya feel better

STOPwriting so much.

You know: Off your a** and on your feet. Out of the cool and in the heat

Congratulations on your good fortune.

Respectfully,

[DJinNH]

Let's see:

Middle aged? Yup, 45.

Overweight? Yup, 240 at 6'02"

Lardass? Well, I could use some there. I suffer from the white man's no butt syndrome. Better buy some suspenders as my pants keep getting pushed down by my gutt.

Smoker? Yup, all started five years ago during a divorce.

Indestructible? Hell no! Found that out about five years ago as well. Legs vs aircraft (wheel).


Whether you want to hear it or not, I hope you are improving. Get well.

Don