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Newton's Laws and Motorcycles
Copyright © 1989 JP Honeywell ~ all rights reserved
Newton's Laws and Motorcycles:
Gravity + Vibration = The Law of Motorcycle Leprosy
by JP Honeywell
It's a funny sensation. It's raining lightly. You're driving across town to a buddy's house, just trying to get there before it really begins to pour, when suddenly you hear the sound a wrench makes when dropped on the pavement. You quickly check your mirrors to see something bouncing away from you in the middle of the street.
This happened to me the other day. I figured that either I had run over something (which I should look at to see what kind of damage it may have caused) or something had fallen off (which I should turn around and pick up). I reached for the clutch as I quickly looked ahead for a good place to pull over. Something didn't feel right. As I steered toward the side of the road, my mind raced through the symptoms to try to pinpoint the problem. The clutch didn't feel right. Actually, the clutch didn't feel at all. That piece of metal which was still bouncing in the road was my clutch lever.
In this situation it's hard to predict what another rider might do. Fortunately for me, I was going pretty slow in second gear so I just tried to drop into Neutral and coast over to the parking lane. That worked out well enough and I immediately looked at the clutch assembly as I jumped off the bike and lowered the kickstand. The engine was idleing smoothly as I studied the mounting bolt hole and tried to figure out how the lever could possibly have fallen completely off. After all, I had just picked the bike up from the shop less than one week before.
Entropy or Enmity
It seems to me that the only thing that differentiates a motorcycle from a low speed paint shaker is two wheels, a seat, and insurance problems. Nuts and bolts seem to inherently resist each other when vibrated. I can relate to that. Whenever I have an experience that shakes me up, I like to find a quiet place to rest. Maybe that's what happens to all of the lost parts from motorcycles that vibrate loose. Maybe, like a harried executive, they just want to "get away from it all for a little while." Maybe I've been riding behind too many buses. Newton might even say it has something to do with planetary motion. All I know is what I'll call "The Law of Motorcycle Leprosy."
Things Fall Off
I won't go into why things fall down instead of sideways or up. Newton, Galileo, and da Vinci seem to have done a pretty good job of explaining all that. At least my science teacher's explainations sound pretty good to a layman like myself. (Actually he lost me as soon as I saw those funny looking math symbols. I nodded and said, "Uh-huh" a lot.) But there's another area that should probably be looked at while we're on the subject. What happens to all of these parts after they fall off?
Chameleon Parts and Black Holes
I have a pretty good idea about where small parts go when they fall off motorcycles. My primary theory is that as parts fall and hit the ground something about them changes. It may even be something at the molecular level, but I'm not sure. Here's my theory: As a small part hits the ground, it spins wildly, perhaps at close to the speed of light. At this speed, it has little problem finding nearby black holes to pass through into parallel universes. Larger parts, unable to reach these incredible speeds are also affected in an unusual way. As they hit the ground, their molecules are realigned so that they either become fully transparent or they take on the coloring and texture of the surrounding landscape. After a few months of exposure to the sun's UV light the molecules of these larger parts are returned to normal and can once again be seen by the naked human eye. I'm not sure if the small parts ever make it back from their journey into another dimension. Although that might explain why there are so many shooting stars on summer nights.
Who's Responsible Here?
If Isaac Newton had been around on that rainy day, I'm sure he could have given me a pretty good explanation of how and why the lever fell off. He might have even tried to help me find the missing bolt, bushing and push rod (all of which now live in a parallel universe). But I doubt if even Newton could have said exactly who was responsible for the parts falling off. I suppose I could have blamed it on The Law of Motorcycle Leprosy or Fate or maybe even the mechanic who had just serviced the bike. (The Service Manager did agree to re-emburse me for the lost parts.) But I knew that ultimately it's my responsibility. After all, I'm the one who has to worry about becoming stranded somewhere. Well, after I got the new parts installed I made it a point to check and tighten every nut, bolt, and screw I could find. It should just seem like common sense to periodically check all of the fixtures and fittings once in a while. A tube of Loc-Tite might not be a bad idea either. Maybe on Saturday or Sunday morning before you meet with your buddies at the local gathering spot. Hey, spending five or ten minutes OFF the bike before your ride isn't that awful. Besides, it gives you a chance to admire your bike and remember all of the good times you've spent together. And it beats the hell out of walking around in the rain looking for the part that fell off.
Newton's Laws and Motorcycles:
Gravity + Vibration = The Law of Motorcycle Leprosy
by JP Honeywell
It's a funny sensation. It's raining lightly. You're driving across town to a buddy's house, just trying to get there before it really begins to pour, when suddenly you hear the sound a wrench makes when dropped on the pavement. You quickly check your mirrors to see something bouncing away from you in the middle of the street.
This happened to me the other day. I figured that either I had run over something (which I should look at to see what kind of damage it may have caused) or something had fallen off (which I should turn around and pick up). I reached for the clutch as I quickly looked ahead for a good place to pull over. Something didn't feel right. As I steered toward the side of the road, my mind raced through the symptoms to try to pinpoint the problem. The clutch didn't feel right. Actually, the clutch didn't feel at all. That piece of metal which was still bouncing in the road was my clutch lever.
In this situation it's hard to predict what another rider might do. Fortunately for me, I was going pretty slow in second gear so I just tried to drop into Neutral and coast over to the parking lane. That worked out well enough and I immediately looked at the clutch assembly as I jumped off the bike and lowered the kickstand. The engine was idleing smoothly as I studied the mounting bolt hole and tried to figure out how the lever could possibly have fallen completely off. After all, I had just picked the bike up from the shop less than one week before.
Entropy or Enmity
It seems to me that the only thing that differentiates a motorcycle from a low speed paint shaker is two wheels, a seat, and insurance problems. Nuts and bolts seem to inherently resist each other when vibrated. I can relate to that. Whenever I have an experience that shakes me up, I like to find a quiet place to rest. Maybe that's what happens to all of the lost parts from motorcycles that vibrate loose. Maybe, like a harried executive, they just want to "get away from it all for a little while." Maybe I've been riding behind too many buses. Newton might even say it has something to do with planetary motion. All I know is what I'll call "The Law of Motorcycle Leprosy."
Things Fall Off
I won't go into why things fall down instead of sideways or up. Newton, Galileo, and da Vinci seem to have done a pretty good job of explaining all that. At least my science teacher's explainations sound pretty good to a layman like myself. (Actually he lost me as soon as I saw those funny looking math symbols. I nodded and said, "Uh-huh" a lot.) But there's another area that should probably be looked at while we're on the subject. What happens to all of these parts after they fall off?
Chameleon Parts and Black Holes
I have a pretty good idea about where small parts go when they fall off motorcycles. My primary theory is that as parts fall and hit the ground something about them changes. It may even be something at the molecular level, but I'm not sure. Here's my theory: As a small part hits the ground, it spins wildly, perhaps at close to the speed of light. At this speed, it has little problem finding nearby black holes to pass through into parallel universes. Larger parts, unable to reach these incredible speeds are also affected in an unusual way. As they hit the ground, their molecules are realigned so that they either become fully transparent or they take on the coloring and texture of the surrounding landscape. After a few months of exposure to the sun's UV light the molecules of these larger parts are returned to normal and can once again be seen by the naked human eye. I'm not sure if the small parts ever make it back from their journey into another dimension. Although that might explain why there are so many shooting stars on summer nights.
Who's Responsible Here?
If Isaac Newton had been around on that rainy day, I'm sure he could have given me a pretty good explanation of how and why the lever fell off. He might have even tried to help me find the missing bolt, bushing and push rod (all of which now live in a parallel universe). But I doubt if even Newton could have said exactly who was responsible for the parts falling off. I suppose I could have blamed it on The Law of Motorcycle Leprosy or Fate or maybe even the mechanic who had just serviced the bike. (The Service Manager did agree to re-emburse me for the lost parts.) But I knew that ultimately it's my responsibility. After all, I'm the one who has to worry about becoming stranded somewhere. Well, after I got the new parts installed I made it a point to check and tighten every nut, bolt, and screw I could find. It should just seem like common sense to periodically check all of the fixtures and fittings once in a while. A tube of Loc-Tite might not be a bad idea either. Maybe on Saturday or Sunday morning before you meet with your buddies at the local gathering spot. Hey, spending five or ten minutes OFF the bike before your ride isn't that awful. Besides, it gives you a chance to admire your bike and remember all of the good times you've spent together. And it beats the hell out of walking around in the rain looking for the part that fell off.