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  • Harley Jokes anyone?

    Here's a few:

    Did you know 95% of all Harleys are still on the road?
    The other 5% actually made it home.

    Have you heard about the new Harley-Davidson beer?
    You put it in your fridge and it leaks overnight.

    Harley-Davidson: The most efficient way to convert gasoline into noise
    without the adverse side effect of horsepower.

    Is it true that Harleys are chick magnets?
    Yes, but only if the chick has a steel plate in her head.

    What’s the cheapest way to get another 50hp from your Harley?
    Trade it in on a Honda.

    Why don’t Harley riders sit on their bikes when the sidestands are down?
    They’re afraid to lean over that far.

    What’s the difference between a Harley and a Harley owner’s home?
    The Harley costs more and has fewer wheels.

    How do you know you’re riding a Harley?
    While coming off an exit-ramp you get passed by a Vespa.

    Why don’t Harley riders wave at sportbike riders?
    Because they don’t want to drop their tools.

    How do you know all the aftermarket parts you bought for your Harley
    are worth the money?
    You finally break into the 15’s in the quarter mile.

    What do you call a group of Harley Owners with a collective IQ of 120?
    Sturgis!

    How do Harley engineers tell if a bike is worthy of the Harley name?
    They check to make sure the exhaust noise in decibels exceeds the
    horsepower rating.

    Why don't Harley owners smile?
    Once you realized you got conned into paying $25,000 for an outdated
    piece of crap, would YOU be smiling?

    What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a vacuum cleaner?
    The location of the dirtbags.

    Why do Harleys have fringe?
    So you can tell if they're moving.

    How is a Harley Davidson like an old dog?
    They both like to ride in the back of pickup trucks.

    How do you know your Harley is handling great?
    You can almost keep up with the logging trucks when you’re riding in the canyons.

    What is the difference between a Harley Davidson and an old dog?
    The dog can get in the back of the pickup by itself.

    What has an IQ of 87, 11 teeth, wears a 36DDD bra and no panties?
    The barmaid everyone calls "Magnet."

    Why couldn’t the Harley mechanic repair the doorknob?
    Some things just can’t be fixed with only a hammer and a rope.

    What's the difference between a Harley taken to Daytona on a trailer
    and one that's being ridden there?
    The one on the trailer is going about 30mph faster.

    Why do all Harley owners have trailers??
    So they can go around corners faster!

    Where can you find the world's largest collection of Harley jokes?
    On the showroom of the Harley mega-store in Milwaukee.
    (Alternate answer: At Sturgis)

    You know you’re a Harley rider if…

    …you’re unable to let your bike simply IDLE at a stop light.

    …you confuse the word "character" with the more accurate term
    "engineering flaws."

    …"water cooled" means standing on the side of the road, in the rain,
    waiting for a wrecker.

    And the biggest (or at least the most expensive) Harley joke of all
    time: The Harley-Davidson VR-1000 superbike racer.

  • #2
    LOL

    Comment


    • #3
      Just forwarded the links to SWMBO's cousins, Harley Riders every one. They laughed when I bought the Battle Cruiser, they ain't laughing now...
      Papa Gino

      79 and something XS 1100 Special "Battle Cruiser"
      78 XT 500 "Old Shaky"
      02 Kawasaki Concours "Connie"

      Comment


      • #4
        Maybe, the joke may be on the metric riders, check this out


        The manufacturer with the highest number of Iron butt rides is......

        Harley-Davidson

        http://www.ironbutt.com/rides/rideslogin.cfm


        Many consider HD to be the oldest motorcycle manufacturer in the world, hitting the 100 yr mark in 2003. (others say Triumph started in 1902)


        Personally, I cannot figure out how either of these things happened
        I have a bike and I am not afraid to use it

        Comment


        • #5
          Why couldn’t the Harley mechanic repair the doorknob? Some things just can’t be fixed with only a hammer and a rope.
          .. get it right, its a hammer and chisel

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by RS Thornton
            Maybe, the joke may be on the metric riders, check this out


            The manufacturer with the highest number of Iron butt rides is......

            Harley-Davidson

            http://www.ironbutt.com/rides/rideslogin.cfm


            Well, considering how many bike they sell, this should not be surprising. A more telling comparsion would be numbers of rides compared to market share for the relevant companies.

            This does make me want to actually document longer rides, so us XS's are accounted for. Do you think we can get our own catagory?
            I've been in more than one Hemisphere, and I wrote a book to help you do it too (or just prepare better for that week long road trip). Going Small, not just for the little guys.

            Comment


            • #7
              You would have to have an iron butt to ride the Iron Butt on a XS
              When a 10 isn't enough, get a 11. 80g Hardbagger

              Comment


              • #8
                Pain,

                Come on out and enjoy the fun!

                I plan on putting another iron butt ride on the XS in early March as I ride down to FLA for bike week. I need to check and see if they add one to the bike count if you do multiple rides on the same machine? If they do I can account for 5 of those yamaha rides with my 78E.

                By the way, shared some of those Harley jokes with an HD owner last night. He didn't think they were funny. I say owner as I do not think he has put more than 100 miles on it a year.
                I have a bike and I am not afraid to use it

                Comment


                • #9
                  I still wish I'd have know about the IBA when I did all those trips from Phoenix, AZ to Modesto, CA (900 miles one way) on my Honda Hawk (400cc).
                  I probably did 10 trips, 14 hours each way.
                  Pat Kelly
                  <p-lkelly@sbcglobal.net>

                  1978 XS1100E (The Force)
                  1980 XS1100LG (The Dark Side)
                  2007 Dodge Ram 2500 quad-cab long-bed (Wifes ride)
                  1999 Suburban (The Ship)
                  1994 Dodge Spirit (Son #1)
                  1968 F100 (Valentine)

                  "No one is totally useless. They can always be used as a bad example"

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by RS Thornton

                    Many consider HD to be the oldest motorcycle manufacturer in the world, hitting the 100 yr mark in 2003. (others say Triumph started in 1902)


                    Personally, I cannot figure out how either of these things happened
                    The oldest Harley Davidson dealer on the planet is Dud Perkins HD in San Francisco, est. 1906.

                    Indicative of many Harley riders' attitude is the slogan from the shovelhead era: "I'd rather push my Harley than ride a rice-burner!" The male chauvinist version goes: "I'd rather have my ol' lady push my Harley than ride a rice-burner!"

                    Me, I'd rather just ride something that works.
                    Shiny side up,
                    650 Mike

                    XS1100SF "Rusty", runs great, 96k miles
                    XS650SJ "The Black Bike", engine from XS650H with 750cc big bore kit, 30k miles

                    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in one pretty and well preserved piece, but to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, worn out and defiantly shouting, "WOW, what a ride !" - [URL="http://www.flyingsnail.com/Sprung/index.html"]Sprung[/URL]

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I still wish I'd have know about the IBA when I did all those trips from Phoenix, AZ to Modesto, CA (900 miles one way) on my Honda Hawk (400cc).
                      Back in the mid 80's, I used to ride a Honda 650 nighthawk from Pheonix to a small town about 90 miles east of stockton in the Sierra's. Made this run so many times ( about 15,000 in 3 months ) I could figure out where the cops were as well as know where all the ruts were in the road.
                      S.R.Czekus

                      1-Project SG (Ugly Rat Bike)(URB)
                      1-big XS patch
                      1-small XS/XJ patch
                      1-XS/XJ owners pin.
                      1-really cool XS/XJ owners sticker on my helmet.
                      2-2005 XS rally T-shirts, (Bean Blossom, In)
                      1-XVS1300C Yamaha Stryker Custom (Mosquito)
                      1-VN900C Kawasaki Custom (Jelly Bean)

                      Just do it !!!!!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by RS Thornton
                        Pain,

                        Come on out and enjoy the fun!

                        I plan on putting another iron butt ride on the XS in early March as I ride down to FLA for bike week. I need to check and see if they add one to the bike count if you do multiple rides on the same machine? If they do I can account for 5 of those yamaha rides with my 78E.

                        By the way, shared some of those Harley jokes with an HD owner last night. He didn't think they were funny. I say owner as I do not think he has put more than 100 miles on it a year.
                        Sorry, not this year. My woman (Who is great, of course) is home for break that week, and while she does like to ride, she is not interested in that long of a trip, since she thinks she should spend some time with her family, rather than the whole time riding.

                        Weird, huh?
                        I've been in more than one Hemisphere, and I wrote a book to help you do it too (or just prepare better for that week long road trip). Going Small, not just for the little guys.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          No surprise there.

                          R S Thornton posts that the majority of Iron-Butt contestants ride Harleys.
                          No viewing the scenery.
                          No visits with friends.
                          No romantic weekends.
                          Simply ride for mile after sleep-deprived mile against the clock to get back to where you started from just to get a certificate.
                          Dumb thing to do.
                          On a Harley.
                          Dumb bike to do it on.
                          Like to like, right?
                          Fred Hill, S'toon.
                          Fred Hill, S'toon
                          XS11SG with Spirit of America sidecar
                          "The Flying Pumpkin"

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