Irritable old cuss

[prometheus578]

"Damned lousy weather." Thirty days of rain, dark skies and darker moods. Can't get anything done. Normal weekend... Clean the kitchen, take a nap. Do some laundry, take a nap. reading and research, take a nap.
Wake up to whinning dogs and look at the alarm clock. "Awww, come on... it's 6:00 in the morning! What are ya wakin' me up for? Alright, let's go."
Take them downstairs and stand on the patio while they stand in the mud and stare at me. "Go on... do what ya gotta do. It's cold out here." They just stand there and watch me. "Ok... fine.... you can hold it all day. Inside!"
...heading back upstairs, stop at the front door and put on my last pair of flipflops... one red leftie and a blue righty.(thanks dogs!) With my socks wedged painfully between my toes, I grab a flashlight and hobble out in the pouring rain to get my morning paper.
"Damned jerk kid..." Where's my stinkin' paper? (And I gave him a tip at Christmas, too!) Can't deliver a lousy paper 'cause it's rainin'? I head back to the house, stepping in every puddle that I'd sloshed through on the way out.
In the kitchen, I feed the dogs their breakfast and get the coffee going. Without my morning paper to read, I eat my peanutbutter and jelly toast staring out the window into the morning darkness. I soon switch to staring at the wall. I should call the paper and complain about a missed delivery. Of course... the only number I know to call... is the one listed in the paper, which I don't have.
Grab a cup of coffee and head back to my room. Fire up a smoke and fire up the computer. No better way to start the day than by reading my hate mail.
The dog's ears perk up, and I hear the front door open.
"Stand or die!"
"It's me, Pops... Karl."
"What are you doing here?"
"Umm... coming home?"
"What do you mean 'comin' home'? Where you been?"
"Umm... out with friends."
"It's 6:30, son. I've told you before...this ain't Joe's Flophouse. If you're gonna go out 'slidin' with your white hoodlum friends' all night and come crawling in here at 6:30... you can go stay at your Ma's."
"Pops... are you OK?"
"No... I've had a sh*tty day so far. It's rainin' out side... my paper didn't come... and you come waltzin' home at 6:30 in the morning."
"Dad... do you know what day it is?"
" What am I, an idiot? Am I OK?... Do I know what day it is?... Did I have a stroke or something? It's Monday, Pal... 6:30 in the morning, to be exact."
"Pops...it's 6:30, alright. 6:30 at night. It's still Sunday! What'd ya do all day, sleep?"



The tragic part of this story is that it's true. Equally tragic is that it's now 3:30am and I'm wide awake.

[Street_Rat78]

Sadly enough, I've had this very thing happen too. SWMBO has a black blanket nailed over the bedroom to block out the harsh sun rise and it's evil rays of death. Woke up, looked at the alarm clock and it was 9:45. I jumped up, shouted a nice profanity and started franticlly throwing on my work clothes. SWMBO woke up wanting to know what in the hell I was doing, I explained I had overslept and was very late for work. She tried to tell me to calm down, but I wouldn't listen. I grabbed my car keys and dashed outside, only to find the moon shinning brightly. It was then I realized it was 9:45PM and I was going to work about 11 hours early.

[prometheus578]

Thanks, Street Rat... thought it was only me.

[ripchord11]

I can do even better.............I frantically awoke one morning, saw the clock .........(severe andrenaline rush here!!!) NOOOOOO!! I am 2 hours late for work!!!! now I still had a 50 minute drive TO work, and no time to shower........just a teeth brushing and a wet towel across the mug............out the garage, into the morning rush hour.............I was pissed, cussing, and worried at each millisecond, what I failed to notice, and contributed to "just luck", was the fact that there was hardly any traffic slowing me down, and I was making great time to work, I was worried what my Lt. was going to say, a man who "HAS NEVER...... EVER, BEEN LATE, (I despised him secretly) I had to drive down the causeway at the posted speed limit (speed traps galore)........which was killing me.........35 MPH for 7.2 miles !!! I finally got into my town, Cocoa Beach, and opened up the throttle..........still 35 mph, but hell I work for the fire dept !!!!!! So I pull into the fire bay area, and all the doors are closed!!!! This still, did not make me think anything was off kilter, because sometimes if we were watching a video for training, or working in the back of the building, or out on an emergency, we closed all the bay doors.......so I entered our coded entry way door, and noticed all the lights were low, and people still in pajamas, watching cartoons !!!! this was not normal for a week day !!!! only weekends, could we go right to bed or watch tv......Everybody suddenly started laughing, looking at my face, at the perplexed look I had, especially when the guys working, were not on my shift !!!!!!!!! It took me a few minutes to recover honestly, and as I got back on my bike, and I was feeling a euphoria starting to spread, Damn.........Its beautiful out, I am on my bike, I am not late for work, in fact I am off today !!!!!! It turned out great that day, but I would not like to do that again......but It did make me laugh at myself all day!!