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  • The Race

    It was a beautiful morning for a ride, so I gassed up the 11 with ethyl and headed to the country. Nothing is more fun than traveling the twisty two-lane blacktops on my scoot. Passing Suzy Soccer Mom's in their mini-vans, zipping around Farmer Brown on his John Deere, honking at Hardly's as they are twisting wrenches on the shoulder, shutting down CBX's on the topend. Life can't be much better.

    Or so I thought. I looked in my mirror and noticed a dot slowly catching up to me. Well I slowed down out of curiousity and eventually made out a Ferrari F50 - red of course. I dropped down to 3rd to get a closer look and there she was - the most beautiful example of the female persuasion I have ever seen. She pulled along side and gave me a drop-dead gorgeous incredible wink, downshifted and she was gone. Now, I don't know if it was my hormones, or the triple latte I had for breakfast, but I wasn't about to lose a road race to a Ferrari, let alone letting her escape without getting her phone number.

    Since I had recently triple cleaned and tuned my Mikuni's, I had no doubt that my steed was up to the task. So I kicked down to second, pulled the front wheel 3 feet into the air and took off in hot pursuit.

    As I shifted into 4th around 130, I started to reel her in. Because I know this road as well as the varicose veins on my ankles, I figured the place to make "The Pass" would be just as we entered the old wooden covered bridge. By now I was on her rear bumper & could see her glancing nervously in her mirrors. That prancing horse emblem looked like a grocery store rocking horse - no problemo.

    I moved to the left, clicked the trans up to 5th and pulled even to her door. Gave her my best "How ya doin' Babe?" nod, (with emphasis on my left eye-brow) and I was gone. As the tach approached 7500, the telephone poles looked like a picket fence. I looked in my mirrors, but she was no where to be seen - where did she go??? Then off to my right I heard the amazing scream of Italy's most harmonic V-12. - THE RACE WAS ON!!!!

    The one-lane bridge loomed narrowly around the bend, so I hunkered down and opened my mostly stock SF wide open. I knew at our speed of 170+ we would be reaching the bridge side-by-side in a few seconds - no stopping now. Then a scary thought came to me - did I remember to charge up the Flux Capacitor last night???? ..........


    (carry on)
    I am a man,
    but I can change,
    if I have to,
    I guess.

  • #2
    LOL!

    Great job Scott!

    Flux capacitors have lots of great uses!

    Sounds like you are on a bike I have worked on or owned! (Why? see http://groups.yahoo.com/group/xs11/message/61370 )
    CUAgain,
    Daniel Meyer
    Author. Adventurer. Electrician.
    Find out why...It's About the Ride.

    Comment


    • #3
      The Race

      Very good post over on the Yahoo site.

      Since it appears that you are a "Wordsmith", maybe you would like to submit the next chapter in the saga of "The Race"

      I have been involved in a couple of these before and they are a blast. They take on a life of their own and you never know where the next chapter is going.

      Take a stab at it.
      I am a man,
      but I can change,
      if I have to,
      I guess.

      Comment


      • #4
        Hmmmm . . .
        CUAgain,
        Daniel Meyer
        Author. Adventurer. Electrician.
        Find out why...It's About the Ride.

        Comment


        • #5
          c'mon... WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE!

          I'm not gonna say I never did anything like that... even a bus driver wanted to race (with a bus!!!). Anyway, he ran the red light, I didn't... It's funny to se a plod car chasing a bus full of surprised ppl
          I think the driver was a member of a local MC.
          Anyway, I burned off most of the occasional "opponents" ... till a babe on a SV650 showed up.. :P
          Anyway, I didn't have the XS then Just a badly tuned 85 ninja 600R.

          LP
          If it doesn't have an engine, it's not a sport, it's only a game.
          (stole that one from I-dont-know-who)

          Comment


          • #6
            (snip)
            <Then a scary thought came to me - did I remember to charge up the Flux Capacitor last night???? ..........>

            <carry on>

            (endsnip)

            Ok . . . you asked for it . . .

            No sense worrying about the Flux Capacitor now. Either it would work or it wouldn’t. Just a few seconds to the bridge. I gave a mental shrug . . . kind of a “what the hell”. . . winked once more at the babe in the Ferrari (with emphasis on the left eyebrow again) . . . and flipped the lever.

            <fizzle><moan>

            I didn’t work. Damn! Ok, note to self; Rule # 1—ALWAYS charge the Flux Capacitor.

            Unfortunately one of the few weaknesses of the vintage muscle-bike I was riding was about to make itself known. The notoriously weak alternator on the XS series has difficulty running extra lights, much less an 8 gigawatt Flux Capacitor. The extra load on the charging system caused the ignition to be robbed of power. The bike sputtered, and the speed dropped to about 160 mph. The Ferrari pulled ahead just in time for us to clear the bridge single file.

            Probably a good thing, as it allowed us to safely clear the 4 motorcycle cops hiding in the bridge’s shadow. I gave them a worried glance, but realized that 2 of them were riding Harleys, one was on a Valkyrie, and one was on a BMW. The Harleys I could dismiss without a second thought, because if they could even get them started, and they would actually run long enough to warm up, they could never catch an XS, especially an XS in a race with a gorgeous red-head.

            The BMW could be a problem, but another quick glance into the mirror confirmed that he was pretty typical for a BMW driver, he did not wave, and indeed probably cannot even see a “rice burner”, thus he could not catch me either.

            The Valkyrie driver simply gave me a wave and a “thumbs up”. Apparently he likes red-heads too.

            With no flux capacitor (for a while yet, it is still charging) and the extra load on the electrical system, the Ferrarri could be a problem. We just passed a sign that says “Twisties Ahead” and I know from experience that this is a tough road. Only 7 miles long, but it has 8,745 hair-pin corners and climbs from 1000 feet to over 10,000 feet—three times! Good territory for showing the red-head what I am made of . . . if everything works.

            I ran through a quick checklist in my head:

            Oil Changed? Um . . . nope. We are still arguing about which one to use on the XS forum. I’ve been putting off changing it, after all, don’t want to use the wrong one. Besides, the bike only has 45,000 miles on it.

            Good Tires? Well . . . maybe. See we have 786 members on the list, and that equates to over 875 different tire recommendations. That in itself is odd, as there are only about 12 different brands to choose from, and many of those are actually the same production plant (those XS’ers are an opinionated bunch). Right now I have a “BridgeSler” on the back (I got it out of a surplus catalogue, figured it covered all the good traits of “BridgeStone” and “Metzler”), and a “Avlop” on the front. I found it behind a bicycle shop and figured it covered “Avon” and Dunlop” pretty well.

            Carbs Ok? Maybe . . . I had “triple cleaned” them . . . Four times now. I had 18 different size jets installed (some in extra holes I had drilled) due to a bit of confusion on my part while following all the Carb threads. Seemed to run pretty good though, at altitudes from –600 feet (dead sea) to 38,000 feet (Mount Everest), except at 690 feet (McKinney, Texas) but I have high hopes that the three extra 106 jets that I will be installing next week (on my fifth triple clean) will take care of that.

            Pick-up wires Ok? Yes. That is one fix I had no problem with . . . well . . . except I could not find any “test lead” wire, so I cut a couple bits off my car’s jumper cables. It was a real bear getting the cover back on, but it runs really good.

            Front end Ok? Now this one I got right. A Tkat forkbrace and ChrisR’s stainless lines and it was better then when it was new. Not bad for a 20 year old bike.

            Oil Lines: Took two soakings, but I finally fixed all that. Castroil is not a skin oil.

            The flux capacitor was finished charging, but I could not use it in the twisties. At least the load was off the alternator.

            The red-head took the first corner, exactly on the apex. Pretty good driver, for a cage driver anyway. By the second corner, I had removed her lead. I passed her in the third and never looked back.

            Seven miles and 8,745 turns in three minutes. Not my best time, but more then good enough to show the Ferrari what I was made of.

            I pulled off at the restaurant and waited for her to catch up. She did shortly, and was looking mighty impressed indeed.

            She slowly got out of the car, all the while admiring my XS. Then she looked up at me with sexy, sultry eyes. Looks like we would be spending some time together. Today was looking up to be a real good one after all................

            And then the C.H.U.D.’s came after me.

            <carry on>
            CUAgain,
            Daniel Meyer
            Author. Adventurer. Electrician.
            Find out why...It's About the Ride.

            Comment


            • #7
              We decided at about 8pm that we needed to go riding so her leg can start getting accustom to being on the bike for long periods. So i went out and changed the broken (original) speedo cable, bumped up the tire pressure, and gave it a general once over. We went and stopped for dinner right down the street,thats when i found my only problem of the night, the baffle in the right side exhaust rusted loose and rattles now. We left and took off and rode through a town that was having it's monthly car show, came up to the light to turn left ,right next to a new Mustang GT the light turned green right before i stopped and we started the turn in first gear, right as we got straighten up (still in first gear at about 4000rpm) the mustang decided that he wanted a piece of the XS...Wrong answer...... Even with the wife on the back, i walked away from him ,at the top of third gear i let off and let him catch up (didnt want a ticket). The guy looked over at me and i just nodded and continued on. God i love my bike.
              Shawn
              78 XS1100E "Black Rat"
              78 XS1100E Parts
              www.hotrod1972.com

              Comment


              • #8
                Ok, maybe i do like speed just a little

                What is it about an xs that brings out the "best" in ya.

                Yesterday I took my oldest (12) daughter to the Orthodontist, and when we left, she wanted to take the freeway (long way) home. Now that I got the stuffy-ness out of the xs with the air filter thing.. it runs like a totally new bike.

                As we pull up to the main light in town, there are 2 lanes that glance off left and on to the freeway.. the kid in the left lane in a lowered 79 chevy pickup.. (about 5 yrs older than the kid himself)... pulled up and started rappin the throttle...

                heck it was easy, the light changed, and i rolled the throttle and just walked away... topped out at about 40 in a 35, and watched him slowly catch up in the mirror... as he flew by he was motioning something with portion of his hand....

                well as we hit the on ramp, i blew by him again... and right up to about 70, and watched him catch up over then next mile...

                It's not saying much about my riding skill, except that the Mongrel is finally responding..
                And he had a real poor truck...!!!

                It took about an hour to get the smile off my daughters face though...
                jeff "Wags"
                Bothell, Wa

                79sf mongrel
                79sf rusty
                79 partsbike almost complete

                Comment


                • #9
                  What is it about stpid ppl who are driving a pickup and want to try to jump on something out of their leauge?
                  The other night the wife and i were out in the cage(79 mustang 351c) And some guy with his girl friend and buddy in a ford ranger tried to jump on me... wrong answer... in 1st gear i rolled out to keep from smoking the tires and blew past him, hit 2nd gear and backed off wayyy ahead of him. at the next light he was yelling... let me see something.. trying to get me to smoke the tires. I told him" you have already seen it " Some ppl just never learn...lol
                  Shawn
                  78 XS1100E "Black Rat"
                  78 XS1100E Parts
                  www.hotrod1972.com

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I am starting to like these XS11 stories. Had not realized there were so many. There needs to be a Story Forum. Seems there are a lot of good ones out there...
                    Got to fix it before I can ride it

                    82 XJ11

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I was enjoying your story Dragonrider, I was going to try my hand at picking it up, but was embarrised because I do not know what a C.H.U.D. is......

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by woodstoc
                        I was enjoying your story Dragonrider, I was going to try my hand at picking it up, but was embarrised because I do not know what a C.H.U.D. is......
                        AHA!!!

                        I was waiting for someone to ask! Can't believe no-one got it. Guess it is my slightly evil disposition leaving the next writer to have to deal with the "CHUDs".

                        C.H.U.D.s are from a VERY bad but VERY popular VERY bad 1984 monster movie called . . . well of course . . . CHUD. Touted as "The best "B" movie of 1984. Movie Details

                        Set in New York, C.H.U.D.s are Cannibalistic, Humanoid, Underground, Dwellers that pop up out of sewers, toilets and such, with the highly predictable and unintentionally funny results.

                        This movie was so popular that there have been several references to this movie in other media made in jest and in passing, the most recent I remember was the Simpsons . . . where Homer is detailing the horrendous trip he had to New York, describing how he got robbed, rolled, lost, and more.

                        At the end he says "And then the CHUDs came after me . . ." and leaves you hanging there.

                        So . . .

                        And then the C.H.U.D.’s came after me.

                        <carry on>
                        CUAgain,
                        Daniel Meyer
                        Author. Adventurer. Electrician.
                        Find out why...It's About the Ride.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Oh . . . and note that even though I did saddle you with "CHUDs", at least I left you with a fully charged Flux Capacitor . . .
                          CUAgain,
                          Daniel Meyer
                          Author. Adventurer. Electrician.
                          Find out why...It's About the Ride.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            And I tawt that was like LAPD and NYPD or sth similar.

                            Cops that Hunt Undisciplined Dorks?

                            Anyway, can't wait to get my XS kickin' some ass... but it might be a bit discapointing, since all I've ridden l8ly were ZZR1100, ZZR1200, R1150R, etc...

                            LP
                            If it doesn't have an engine, it's not a sport, it's only a game.
                            (stole that one from I-dont-know-who)

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Damn the C.H.U.D.’s all to hell. Just as it was looking like I was getting ready to know Ms F50 a whole lot better, these awful smelly things have got to interfere.

                              She was looking so fine, short skirt sliding up as she swung out of that beautiful piece of machinery, smiling with red, luscious lips and dreamy eyes focused solely on me and my incredible…..whooops better focus on the C.H.U.D.’s here boy.

                              The only good thing about the situation was that they were all riding Harley’s, so I knew I could continue to charge the flux capacitor. I wouldn’t even have to call upon the FORCE to get out of this jam. So I yelled at the leader, who looked quite a bit like Anthony Hopkins, “Hey you POS, I don’t know which stinks worse, your bike or you”.

                              Well, this had the intended effect, all of a sudden, I had a pack of C.H.U.D’s (it’s sure a pain to type that) on leaking, shuddering, loud, obnoxious (you thought I was talking about the C.H.U.D.’s) Harley’s at full throttle chasing me down.

                              I ran it up to six grand, dumped the clutch and dug a trench in the asphalt as I headed back toward the single lane bridge with the beginnings of a plan forming in my head.

                              Hardly any load was placed on my constant velocity Mikuni’s, (even though I felt the psychological need to triple clean them again), so I pulled ahead enough to get to the bridge first and check the charge on the flux capacitor. Well, by this time the flux capacitor was fully charged, so I grabbed hold of my sway back handlebars, locked one foot on the peg, and looked in my vibrating mirrors for the first signs of the C.H.U.D.’s to appear on the bridge.

                              The smell reached me before they did. Here comes a thundering pack of slimy, greasy, filthy things with C.H.U.D.’s bearing down on me at about 40 whole miles per hour, but they were LOUD. Just as they get within about 20 feet up me I hit the flux capacitor, pulled WOT, dumped the clutch and BOOM, blew all the C.H.U.D.’s off the bridge into the river.

                              Unfortunately, this little demonstration of power also had an unintended side effect on me……

                              <carry on>

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