Biker encounter

[nashville_bill]

A man appears before St. Peter at the pearly gates.

"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asks.

"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offers. "Once, on a trip to
the Black Hills, out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of
high-testosterone bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed
them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So I approached the
largest and most heavily tattooed biker. I smacked him on the head,
kicked his bike over,
ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground, and told him,
'Leave her alone now or you'll answer to me.' "

St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?"

"Just a few minutes ago."

[Geezer]

Seems there was this nasty outlaw biker riding his hawg down the icey highway one cold day in Colorado, when he spots a cat lying in the middle of the road. The biker thinks to himself, "I'll cut that cat in two"' and he bears down on it hard. As he gets closer, he suddenly realizes that it's not a cat, it's a large pieceof metal lying in the road. Too late! His front wheel plows into it and he's sent flying over the handlebars onto the road at 80 MPH. Well, when he arrives in Hell, who should be welcoming the new arrivals but the Devil himself. As the Devil shakes the (ex)biker's hand, he asks mockingly, "So, how do you like it here?" The bad-ass biker replies, "Man, this is one COOL place!" The old Devil was just a little miffed at this upstart, so he decides to crank up the thrmostat a notch. The next day, the Devil seeks out the biker and aks, "So, how do you like it now?" Still the bad-ass biker responds by saying, "This is great! Reminds me of those drug runs to Sonora during the hot afternoons in August." Naturally, the Devil is only more angered, and cranks the heat up as far as it can go. The next day, Hell is as hot as it gets. The Devil again asks the biker how he likes it. Undaunted, the biker proclaims, "It's almost as hot as the time I beat and robbed those vacationers out in Death Valley. I love it!" Now the Devil is just plain pissed, so he turns the thermostat all the way down. The next morning, he finds the biker again and asks, "OK smart-ass, how do you like it NOW?" With icicles hanging from every part of his body, the biker inquires, "W-w-w-what h-h-hhappened....d-d-d-did the Broncos f-f-finally w-w-win the Super Bowl?"