Knocking the Prince of Darkness

[fredintoon]

Hi List,
this showed up in the JOTD string but I thought my rebuttal would best be here:-
The Lucas Electric motto: "Get home before dark."

Lucas denies having invented darkness. But they still claim "sudden,unexpected darkness."
Lucas--inventor of the first intermittent wiper....inadvertantly.
Lucas--inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
The three-position Lucas switch--DIM, FLICKER and OFF. The other three switch settings--SMOKE, SMOULDER and IGNITE.
The original anti-theft immobiliser devices--Joseph Lucas Electric products.
"I've had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never experienced any prob...
If Lucas made guns, wars would not start either.
Did you hear about the Lucas powered torpedo? It sank.
It's not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal Ohm's Law.
Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner "How can you tell one switch from another at night, since they all look the same?" "He replied, it doesn't matter which one you use, nothing happens!"
Back in the '70s Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which didn't suck.
Why do the English drink warm beer? Lucas makes the refrigerators.
Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone.
Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb.
Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.
Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of any Lucas equipment:-Check the position of the stars, kill a chicken and walk three times clockwise around your motorcycle chanting: "Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your unworthy servant."
Lucas systems actually use Alternating Current; it just has a random frequency.
Lucas is an acronym for Loose Unsoldered Connections and Splices.
It's a humbling thought that a whole generation of young motorists doesn't know why this is so funny.__________________
XS1100SF

In rebuttal,
in the 1950s and 1960s I worked in the British Aerospace Industry and we routinely installed Lucas electrical components on the company's jet engines.
Those Lucas products worked with total reliability because we paid top whack for the good stuff.
To quote Nevil Shute (who's other hat was Nevil Shute Norway, the founder of Airspeed Aircraft Corporation) "An engineer is someone who can do for ten shillings what any damn fool can do for a pound."
It seems that British car and bike makers went to Lucas and said, "what can you make us for half a crown?"
The main wonder of the Lucas gear built down to the price that automotive mfrs were prepared to pay is that it worked at all.

[blue giant]

I owned an Austin Mini several years ago.

I am well versed on Lucas' reknowned reliabilty (or lack thereof)

[DiverRay]

I actually owned a Jensen Healy for several years. The ONLY electrical problems I had was one switch, and the alternator. With the miles on the car, that wasn't bad. I had more problems keeping the engine cool than I ever did with the electrical.
The early brit bikes I worked on as a kid, that was a different story!

[crazy steve]

I've got several Jaguars (ok, ok, we all have our oddities...) and one can only say that their application of electrical theory is very unique.

And it's the only car I've ever owned that has warning lights to tell you how serious the OTHER warning lights are.... LOL

'78E original owner

[Guy_b_g]

Buy a 60's or 70's to early 80's Italian bike and you'll see that Lucas had serious competition.

Some people clamed the Italian electrics were the "illegitimate spawn of the Prince of Darkness"...Lucas.

[oseaghdha]

Buy a 60's or 70's to early 80's Italian bike and you'll see that Lucas had serious competition.

Some people clamed the Italian electrics were the "illegitimate spawn of the Prince of Darkness"...Lucas.

I always thought this was amusing:

[webbcraft2150]

Had a 70's Norton Combat Commando. Prince of Darkness was a subcontractor.

[DenyP]

My first motorcycle was an early 60's vintage Triumph Tiger Cub. That d###* thing would run if and when it chose which wasn't often. More electrical problems then you can shake a stick at! Lucas systems was one of my first major cuss words!

Deny

[Guy_b_g]

My first bike was a 1972 125cc Rickman Metisse enduro, a nice, fast bike..

It was a mongrel, it had an English (Rickman) frame and Lucas electrics, a German Zundapp engine, Spanish Betor forks, Koni shocks, and other parts sourced from all over.

You needed a combination of Whitworth, Metric, and SAE tools to work on it, and I once had to wait weeks for a new chain master link, "cause it was some weird size I don't remember. The most functional tool in my kit was a Crescent adjustable wrench.

I cut my teeth on that bike learning to ride in the dirt and on the street starting at age 15. It spit me off more tmes than I can remember, (I still have scars to prove it), but it taught me ro ride a slide and a wheely, and what I could get away with in the dirt or on the street (as well as what was gonna hurt), and by the time I was 16 there was only one rider in town who could beat me in any kind of meaningful race on the dirt. I spent darn near as much time on maintenance and fixing things I had broken as I did riding, and I have nothing but good memories.

I wish I had another, I'd restore it and just keep it in my garage as a reminder of those days!

[xsilerating]

All I can say is... I'm sure glad Lucas electrics weren't installed in XS11's...

[oseaghdha]

My first bike was a 1972 125cc Rickman Metisse enduro, a nice, fast bike..

It was a mongrel, it had an English (Rickman) frame and Lucas electrics, a German Zundapp engine, Spanish Betor forks, Koni shocks, and other parts sourced from all over.

You needed a combination of Whitworth, Metric, and SAE tools to work on it, and I once had to wait weeks for a new chain master link, "cause it was some weird size I don't remember. The most functional tool in my kit was a Crescent adjustable wrench.

I cut my teeth on that bike learning to ride in the dirt and on the street starting at age 15. It spit me off more tmes than I can remember, (I still have scars to prove it), but it taught me ro ride a slide and a wheely, and what I could get away with in the dirt or on the street (as well as what was gonna hurt), and by the time I was 16 there was only one rider in town who could beat me in any kind of meaningful race on the dirt. I spent darn near as much time on maintenance and fixing things I had broken as I did riding, and I have nothing but good memories.

I wish I had another, I'd restore it and just keep it in my garage as a reminder of those days!

I had one of those! Only it was an MX. No electrics to worry about. Nickel plated frame, Sunburst head, chain oiler in the swingarm.
By Zot, it was FAST, but the power band was from 8000 to 10000.
Nothing like running up a strange hill at WOT, without knowing that the back side had been carted off and turned into road bed somewhere.


Hey! I'm FLYING!

Finally blew up the clutch, traded the whole thing for a Holley 4 barrel.

[Guy_b_g]

Yup...same bike...only difference between the 2 models was a 6V lighting coil, an anemic headlight & tail/brake light, a horn only dogs with good hearing could pick out over the earsplitting exhaust, and a couple of switches. Not sure how Lucas managed it but sometimes when you turned on the headlight the horn would sound...took me forever to find the short. I had to run a vent tube up under the tank from the point cover because without one condensation would form in there if I went thru mud or water and short out the points. There was no battery, and I'm not sure who my dad paid off at DMV to get the thing licensed for the street. I had Preston Petty front and rear fenders, 'cause the fiberglass ones didn't last a day, and a Preston Petty integral headlight/number plate, with a little 6V tractor headlight from the local parts house. I learned to braze by fixing the cracks that would constantly appear in the expansion chamber. What a pain in the ass.

I loved that bike!